Coping Skill: Urge Surfing
Urge Surfing is a coping skill that is associated with DBT and is under the Distress Tolorance Module!
What is Urge Surfing?
Urge surfing is getting through the urge without acting on the urges that we are faced with. When you notice an urge instead of fighting it imagine that you are on a surfboard with it. Try observing and discribing the urge in a way that is non judgemental.
How do you ride the waves?
Like waves, urges rise, building up to their cresting point, and then fall. As the intensity of an urge builds, it feels like it is going to keep on getting worse, and that if you dont give in to it, it will last forever. When you experience an urge and then act on the impulse, your brain makes the connection that you can only make the urge go away by engaging in the behavior. However, research tells us that urges typically last for 20-30 minutes, which means the feeling will pass whether you engage in a behavior or not. Over time, you are able to reteach your brain that it is possible to experience an urge without acting on it.
What can you do while you are waiting for the urge to pass?
-Hold ice in your hand, or against your face/forehead/neck
-Take a warm shower
-Take a few minutes to focus on your breathing – slow and steady.
-Call a friend or family member
-Play a playlist of your favorite songs
-Watch funny You Tube videos
-Light a scented candle or use some scented lotion or oils
-Imagine a very relaxing scene or re-pay a joyful memory in your mind
-Say encouraging statements to yourself as though you are talking to your best friend
@TheAsh
Thank you for sharing these very helpful tips :d
@TheAsh
Very well put. I'm sure gonna use these tips in my life 
@TheAsh thank you so much for spreading awareness about this technique! It's one of the most difficult coping skills for me to practice but I think it's a great one. I hope more people learn about this :)
Great job well put ash thanks for sharing :)
@TheAsh This is important! Urges can be really scary things, and "surfing" the urge can feel impossible - but it's a process. Once you find what helps you, the process gets easier. 
I'll try this next time I'm tempted to binge
@JJJPK00 Awesome! Please post to this thread when you try it and let us know what your experience was and if you found it helpful! But please do remember it takes time to master this skill pre see and don't be to hard on yourself if it doesn't work out well your first time! Remember if at first you don't succeed, try again!
What the heck, I tried it, and it worked...the first time...within minutes! Little background. I had been feeling really crappy about myself. I ate a big lunch. Did I overeat? Probably. Was it a binge? Absolutely not. But I still felt bad. I ate a big dinner...I mean big. Those feelings of guild and shame were cropping up as I inhaled food. I was thinking how I'd better just throw in the towel and binge tonight. I didn't even notice anything about my supper, I was too busy contemplating which box of granola bars I was going to demolish afterwards. But as I put my plate in the sink, it hit me. I have to want to change. The future starts today, not tomorrow. I remembered this thread. How it says "you think the only way to stop the urge is to give in, but you can surf it." I took a deep breath and said, okay, I'm not eating right now, I'm going surfing. Pretty much as soon as I told myself that my irrational brain was like Okee dokee, that's cool, let's move on. I dropped it so incredibly quickly! I'm pretty thrilled and stunned. Lots of love to you @TheAsh 💓 💓 💓 Happy Friday all! Cheers to small victories 😎
@JJJPK00 oh good I am glad it helped! That's awesome to hear that and congratulations on not purging! That's a big victory! I am proud of you!
I have been trying this when I feel an urge to work out. I find that various feelings/things can trigger my need to self harm (which I don't use any more) but I use under eating and excercising as a replacement. I've been trying to use this metaphor as a way to cope with those feelings. Sometimes I simply can't do anything about it at that moment and I have to (like when I'm at work and can't leave to work out) and so it forces me to try it. Today it worked because I'm gettin sick with a virus - so that's kind of knocked me off my feet anyway. Ha!
@KatieMoon1 well I am glad that you tried it and I am glad that it helped you today! Don't be hard on yourself if you don't get it right away, if at first you don't succeed try again! Coping skills can take a long time to get used to, so it's a matter of trying it and trying it and the goal is that hopefully once you keep trying you'll get used to the skill instead of the behaviour!
@TheAsh
Yea, I think it only worked because I'm sick. Ha! But, I get what you're saying. I won't give up on it. I think sometimes though I just want it so badly I don't care. I think that's why I'm so stuck.
@KatieMoon1 I am glad you are going to keep trying and I am sorry that you feel stuck! I am glad that you have found the ED forums I hope you can find other post helpful here as well! Stay strong and you can for sure keep posting your progress with this skill here!
@TheAsh
Thank you. There's a lot of posts to wade through. I'm fairly private with my issues, but I will pop in if the need be. I'll let you know how it goes for me.
@KatieMoon1 awesome I would love to hear any progress you have made with this coping skill!
@TheAsh this is a great article. It really helps to be in charge and not let emotions and impulses run us ragged.