I don't like living at home
I don't like living at home. Maybe Thats because im post college grad who has had a taste of living on my own. Maybe that's because of my own anxiety(?). Idk. There's always this feeling of tension at home. My mom is really passive Aggressive about things and my dad is a walking time bomb. I never feel truly comfortable unless I'm in my room alone. When I do decide to spend time downstairs with family to talk about our day or dinner or whatever, I almost always immediately regret it. My mom vents to me alot like im a therapist. Little does she know its wearing down on me. I tried to bring it up before and shed almost sarcastically say something like "oh I just wont talk to anyone then". Id feel like shit. I don't want her to bottle up but I'm not the right person to go to. She wont go to therapy. I'm not strong enough to establish healthy boundaries. I'm always on edge. I never feel like I truly get to relax. It's really taking its toll on me and im so so tired. I can't keep living in this household like this.
@diplomaticAvocado1390
I can relate to being post grad living at home with parents. It is a strange, frustrating feeling having spent time on your own as an adult only to return to the family home. I can understand the anxious feelings you have with dad acting like he's going to blow up at any moment and mom oversharing her feelings and thoughts. Her passive aggressive, all or nothing, answers and mood sounds really difficult to try to set boundaries. Is moving out of the home an option for you or something you are working towards? You mentioned you feel unable to set boundaries with your family. The thing about boundaries is that you don't have to build an entire fence in one day. You can start with small steps. Maybe walking away when mom says things like she just won't talk anymore? Are there any other small steps you can think of that could make your life a little bit easier?
Perhaps... I'm very empathetic towards ppl so I'm very sensitive to hurting ppls feelings and im always concerned about that. It's always been an issue of mine that ive yet to figure out. I wish I was in a position in which I could move oyt but I graduated with an art degree so I feel really helpless at the moment. I've only got a low paying cafe job atm with loan payments quickly approaching. I'm grateful my parents are allowing me to stay rent free despite all this. At the same time tho it adds to all my hopeless feelings and guilt. I've overanalyzed just about everything i could do (or so i think) but I know nothing will work without me feeling uncomfortable and that in itself makes me awfully anxious.