Parents are a lot

I cant really stand spending time with my family. Ik im not the only one of course. Im confident that ive got mental health issues but i think the way ive been raised has put a stigma on that. My mom mainly responsible. She is very opinionated about things and she loves to shit talk people. She likes to pretend that her kids are perfect and compares how "perfect" we are to other peoples kids and how terrible they are based on things they do (like drinking, sex, etc). Its to the point that (and maybe this is just me being insecure of myself) but i feel like i cant even talk about a crush or my body around her for fear of judgement or sly remarks. Ive been picking apart the things that i do because im the kind of person who needs answers for everything. But yea being around her for more than 5 min is exhausting. Shes rarely saying anything positive and always has a degrading tone in her voice. (Imagine a disney villain and the way they talk its kinda like that in a weird way). Ive tried talking to her about issues before and it didnt end well at all. She was dismissive of anything i brought up or turned it into a guilt fest saying things like "ill never speak again so i dont hurt peoples feelings" and the like. She tends to guilt a lot. Shes reall good at that. Its hard for me to know if im in the wrong or not about things sometimes because of the what she feeds my brain. What she says conflicts a lot. I dont think she really means harm but I dont enjoy spending a lot of time with her.

My dad on the other hand has anger issues and is a huuugge hypocrite. I feel like im always walking on eggshells with him around. Its not like he means harm either. I find that he thinks about himself alot though and usually puts his needs first. It more or less just hurts my feelings. He does try to support me and what i do. But i feel like the cons have begun to outweigh the pros... I feel like I have to hide things and keep secrets so i dont have to worry about getting questioned or scolded. (Ive resorted to this a lot lately from both parents) im afraid to be myself around them and express any of my feelings or interests because i just dont feel like ill be accepted or have permission ig. I judt graduated college and im thankful that they are letting me live at home until i can get on my feet. But whether or not i have money, if i dont move out soon, my mental health is going to continue taking hit after hit until i cant take anymore. I graduated with an art degree so my future feels really insecure and im not sure im ever gonna be able to support myself. I feel hopeless and it clouds my mind now every single day. I dont like that im starting to dislike my family. I dont think they even know it. Hows that even fair?