Partner severely depressed, has kids, won't communicate

Partner of a decade has been managing severe depression a d anxiety, possible bipolar for many years, there were clear signs since childhood. His family never helped. Got worse over covid having not been able to stay self disciplined with virtual work and got fired. We have children and he's does what he can but full of excuses and often unable to meet their basic needs like feeding them, speaking without yelling, or simply being awake to care for them. He simply cannot even wake up most days, probably 5 of of 7. He will actviely and consciously refuse say no whine scream and hold on to the bed/couch like a child. Howveer when nighttime hits he happily wakes to smoke, eat junk food and play video games until dawn. He suffers from low self esteem and runs at the sight of responsibility or anytjinf he doesnt feel like doing. Clearly this got worse as life responsibilities increased over time he cant keep up. He has regularly therapy and meds, but then refuses to go often and had a therapist drop him because he wasn't committed. We hospitalized him last year in patient psychiatric care and then rehab. He came out with grandiose promises and stuck to few/none. Blown through so much money while making none. I'd consider myself high function but failing with this mess. Not to discount his actual diagnoses but he doesnt seem to wabt to stay on track or harness whatever locus of control he feels he has. Or rather is it healthy to go alongside the journey with kids that clearly know what's going on and suffering. A mess.