Seperation before divorce
It would be nice to share the experience of dreadful pain during this time
what are you experiencing?
I got married last year. My marriage lasted for 3 months. On a small minor argument, he decided to end the marriage. All of a sudden the loving caring person which he claims to be turned cold with no empathy and sympathy. He asked for time and space, and for two months I gave him that hoping that one day he will call back. But when I couldn’t wait anymore, I visited him ( we were staying with his family of four) and they bullied me , insulted me etc.. I could only stay there for 5 days and then I left. I came back to my parents. Left my job as I could not work.
There are so many questions that I have for him. The pain is unbearable. Just unbearable. Its been 7 months of no contact.
@tian20
It can be a very painful and confusing time. I'm sorry you are dealing with it now. We often spend a lot of time blaming the other OR blaming ourselves which uses up a lot of valuable time everyday. Because we could be using that valuable time to relearn how to function and relearn our single habits and relearn how to best use our hours and REALLY, just relearning things by ourselves. As scary as that sounds, it comes with great rewards, so make an extra effort to believe in yourself right now.
As common as separations are, they are all as unique as a fingerprint. Please share what you are experiencing? It helps so much to talk about these things.
Wishing you peace and hope💚
Thank you for the advice. I miss a person, who bullied me, insulted and I am sure does not even think about me..with time the pain keeps increasing.. this whole year, every single day I have cried.. sometimes the tears just roll down, at times its in the washroom when I see myself in the mirror. You won’t believe, at this moment , while typing the message , I can’t stop my tears. Do do I get over the pain? Unbearable pain.
@tian20
That sounds horrible. I'm so sorry. Is there anything you can do to occupy your mind away from something that did not work out? It sounds very sad and must be very hard to carry that on your shoulders all the time. When do you think you will want it to be easier and to start Anew?
I am not sure about anything at the moment..
@tian20
I can totally understand that. No need to do anything but process things your own way and in your own time. I am so glad part of that was reaching out here. I think so many people here understand and really care and will listen.
Be well my friend and keep sharing. 💚
Thanks mate.. hoping the pain to fade with time.
@tian20 I am really sorry to hear about your experience with marriage. I understand that you might feel more alone now than before and confused, left with more questions than answers that you feel may never be resolved. You are a strong person for allowing yourself to cry as much as needed. A simple gesture as that is all that one may be able to do in what may seem like an eternity of hopelessness but its a symbol of being tenacious. You are still hurt but you allow yourself to feel all the pain! You don't hide these feelings away from yourself and you have looked to find closure before instead of holding onto the uncertainty of what your ex-partner may treat you if you are to visit them. Point being: you are standing for what you believe in and that reflects you crying as well as visiting your ex-partner but because you have been invalidated so badly when you have only wanted to be loving, you might feel like you are a horrible person or that you deserve the bad in the world.
I understand this year might have felt like the worst thing to happen to you and you may only be expecting more and more pain by the day and the future but people who treat us the way your ex has treated you should make us reconsider where we put our energy towards. By that, it is by all means HEALTHY to grieve a relationships' end but holding onto a person by obsessing over them or blaming yourself means the relationship was in one way or another a toxic one.
Do yourself a favour for your own mental health and allow yourself to begin feeling peace by no longer blaming yourself or chasing after people who are only raising more painful feelings inside of you.
You are deserving to have a wonderful 2022 and I am hoping to pick myself up from 2022 onwards as the better years of my life.
@determinedCity4809.... I am so grateful for your message. I felt loved while reading your message. Hoping that the upcoming years help me better to cope up with this pain. I am at the moment dealing with the mask of shame which comes as a free package with the divorcee tag. I know that a day will come when I will be victorious by letting all these feelings go and vanish out of my sight ....but till then hanging onto the struggle. In an era of social media toxicity, I am glad that I found this app where strangers take out time to understand / motivate / support the sufferers. Thank youu all.. 😢😊
You can do this! And you WILL do this: overcome the negative feelings that pain you daily. Have you tried focusing on the little things around you and make yourself a goal to BECOME motivated? I know that people often say their goal is "I will stay motivated" but that is quite difficult to achieve. You have to work towards feeling motivated and happier with yourself! So go ahead and start with whatever you can and pick yourself off from there, day-by-day.
Much love,
7 cups listener ♡