This really sucks.

I want to become a writer. I have always dreamed of writing since I was in the first grade. I also have a hobby of dancing but I absolutely hate performing because I wasted my entire life to this dance hobby that I barely had time to work on my writing because a family member forced me to be in a dance group that took a toll on my mental health because our director was emotionally abusive. I had no life. And I started to hate it and had some resentment towards that family member for not allowing me to live my life.

When I finally left that hobby, I was able to write more. My sister is passionate about dancing & my dad clearly supports her. When I spend time with my dad and my sister, all we talk about is stuff my dad is doing to help her achieve her dreams. And i do join in sometimes because I still like to dance as a hobby but it’s not my passion/dream if that makes sense.

But the one time I wanted to talk about this book I wanted to write, my dad didn’t have time to listen and I was talking to my step mom who was the only one who was listening to me. My step mom told him, “you’re not even spending time with your daughter” and he said that he was busy working on his van outside.

But once my sister came home, she wanted to show us videos of people dancing that she wanted to learn and honestly I was excited to watch some videos with her but my dad got a seat and came to sit down with us to watch. And as I was watching with them, he was engaging with her and asking her questions. I realized that he didn’t even do that with me when I was trying to talk about my passion. So I got really sad when I realized that and I stopped engaging and let them talk.

And he’s in contact with big people in professional dance groups that he’s trying to help my sister with “to be noticed” as he put it. He talked about this when we went to eat as a family. And wanted me to be apart of that as well. I told him “I like dancing, it’s a hobby but I don’t care about this. I don’t like performing” and he told us “I’m just trying to help y’all get noticed”. And I said “I need help with this” and I lifted up book that I was reading to help me write a novel (since I was working on it while we were eating) and he straight up said, “but we’re not talking about that right now” and turned back to my sister to tell her his plans to help her dancing dreams.