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orangeVase6516
1 172 M Embraced 1
PathStep 1 Compassion hearts18 Forum posts14 Forum upvotes9 Current upvotes9 Age GroupAdult Last activeMay, 2023 Member sinceMarch 28, 2023
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am I wrong to be bothered by this
Relationship Stress / by orangeVase6516
Last post
 May 11th, 2023
...See more my fiancé has a friend who wants to hang out w him every now & then but recently it’s been frequent. his friend gives me bad vibes because he seems like someone who will encourage him to cheat. BUT he always wants to hang out at like 11pm and go to the bar to drink all the time. they just go drinking so late at night. I don’t like that at all. I asked my fiancé why his friend always wants to hang out that late and just go drink, like is that all he wants to do and not do anything else???
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Need some advice
Relationship Stress / by orangeVase6516
Last post
 May 4th, 2023
...See more I am Catholic and am trying desperately to abstain from intercourse before marriage as it’s something big for me. I was trying really hard to please my fiancé so I would give in a lot to him. And afterwards, it would make me feel so horrible about myself. I would go crying to confessions all the time just to end up doing it again. My fiancé liked using condoms (us Catholics are against those) but I bought some for us to use. I left them in my purse. I gave him one to use one time and just forgot about them kind of. I didn’t want to mention that I bought the condoms because it was embarrassing for me and also make him think that it’s okay for us to do that all the time as I’m Catholic and have told him I didn’t want to do that. There would be times when I would forget my purse so we didn’t have those. He would ask me if I had any and I said no because I forgot my purse so we wouldn’t do it. Well we stopped doing that for a month or two because he decided to respect my wishes and I went over recently and left my purse. (I still have those condoms but I was going to throw them away since I don’t use them and won’t but I kept forgetting to). He went through my purse because he was curious and now he’s mad that he found the condoms in my purse and he thinks I’m cheating on him. I tried to explain everything and my whole thought process on it but he doesn’t believe me. He just said it didn’t make sense that I wanted to wait until marriage but have condoms in my purse. It was because I was trying to please him and I just didn’t want to do that so I never told him about it and wanted to get rid of them. I don’t know what to do.
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Okay tell me if I’m in the wrong here.
Relationship Stress / by orangeVase6516
Last post
 May 5th, 2023
...See more My fiancé rarely talks about himself (he’s also really anti-social); he’s not a very talkative person & that’s totally fine with me. But I literally beg him to tell me stuff because I always feel like I talk about myself too much & he rarely talks about himself. He always says he doesn’t know what to say & I told him he could literally tell me anything he wants. I tell him to tell me something that happened at work that day, what a customer told him, the craziest/weirdest order that he had to take out to a customers car but he usually responds with “nothing really happened” & I will say “oh okay” & he will just say “yeah”. I try to ask him about himself, like he’s really into healthy foods etc. I’ll ask if he’s found anything new to try to be healthy etc. he’ll just say “oh it’s just the same stuff” so I just drop the conversation & start talking about stuff that happened during my day & stuff I’m interested in. I have asked before if he felt like I wasn’t supportive & asked if he felt like I only talk about myself. He told me that I was supportive & that he didn’t feel that way about me talking about myself so I just continued. I would occasionally ask about his health related stuff that he was into but of course, he wouldn’t really talk much about it. So I would just move on with my topics of interest. There was times when I would ask if he’s found anything online, like food wise or drinks or even tips/tricks to be more healthier & then he will say “oh yeah I bought some stuff last week” & I will ask about it & we will talk about it but I’d be upset that he didn’t share it with me when he got it. I would tell him I would like for him to talk to me about these things because I want to know him too. Then I did stop asking about it & would only talk about myself more BUT if he did mention something that he got to try out, like a new food.. I’ll start getting interested that he wanted to talk about himself so I would ask questions about it & we’d talk about it for a few minutes before we changed the subject to me or something).Then yesterday I asked him again if he felt that I was supportive etc. He told me “you’re not that supportive just kinda. And you do talk more about yourself but that’s only because I don’t talk about myself much.” & I said “wait what do you mean not that supportive?” & he said “well you never really ask about my health stuff and you just talk about it when I bring it up. I ask you about your interests without you bringing it up”….. what!?!? Like I would try to bring up stuff he was interested in but he wouldn’t talk about it much with me. He would find new stuff and not mention it to me then mention that he bought something new for his healthy eating a few weeks after & it made me feel sad because I felt like he feels like I don’t engage in what he likes but I literally try.
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I am not okay with my fiancé going to house parties
Relationship Stress / by orangeVase6516
Last post
 April 20th, 2023
...See more I find it disrespectful to your significant other if you attend these. If you want to attend one, at least take your significant other. Why go to one without your partner? It’s really disrespectful. My fiancé didn’t like me going to house parties because he had issues with previous situations so he has anxiety. I skipped out on my friends birthday because I knew he wouldn’t like if I went & vice versa. But fast forward to his friend coming into town & my fiancé goes to a bar with him to hang out & then they go to a house party. He just casually tells me he’s at one & im like “are you serious right now?” & he’s just like “what I didn’t drink”. I said “so I skipped my friends party to respect you & you go to one? make it make sense?” & his friend is coming back into town soon & I made sure to tell him that I would not be okay with him going to another house party.
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This really sucks.
Family & Caregivers / by orangeVase6516
Last post
 April 5th, 2023
...See more I want to become a writer. I have always dreamed of writing since I was in the first grade. I also have a hobby of dancing but I absolutely hate performing because I wasted my entire life to this dance hobby that I barely had time to work on my writing because a family member forced me to be in a dance group that took a toll on my mental health because our director was emotionally abusive. I had no life. And I started to hate it and had some resentment towards that family member for not allowing me to live my life. When I finally left that hobby, I was able to write more. My sister is passionate about dancing & my dad clearly supports her. When I spend time with my dad and my sister, all we talk about is stuff my dad is doing to help her achieve her dreams. And i do join in sometimes because I still like to dance as a hobby but it’s not my passion/dream if that makes sense. But the one time I wanted to talk about this book I wanted to write, my dad didn’t have time to listen and I was talking to my step mom who was the only one who was listening to me. My step mom told him, “you’re not even spending time with your daughter” and he said that he was busy working on his van outside. But once my sister came home, she wanted to show us videos of people dancing that she wanted to learn and honestly I was excited to watch some videos with her but my dad got a seat and came to sit down with us to watch. And as I was watching with them, he was engaging with her and asking her questions. I realized that he didn’t even do that with me when I was trying to talk about my passion. So I got really sad when I realized that and I stopped engaging and let them talk. And he’s in contact with big people in professional dance groups that he’s trying to help my sister with “to be noticed” as he put it. He talked about this when we went to eat as a family. And wanted me to be apart of that as well. I told him “I like dancing, it’s a hobby but I don’t care about this. I don’t like performing” and he told us “I’m just trying to help y’all get noticed”. And I said “I need help with this” and I lifted up book that I was reading to help me write a novel (since I was working on it while we were eating) and he straight up said, “but we’re not talking about that right now” and turned back to my sister to tell her his plans to help her dancing dreams.
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What is wrong with me, honestly…
Depression Support / by orangeVase6516
Last post
 March 30th, 2023
...See more I obsess over my health and doctors need to do procedures on me to check if everything is okay. And I’m scared there’s something medically wrong but I’m also scared of dying from whatever procedure they do to me but I still obsess over whatever medical issue I might have. And this sends me into a mental break down and I feel like the world isn’t real, like I’m not real and I just want to world to stop for just a minute so I can breathe. I constantly cancel the procedures because of the fear of dying when I have them and then I reschedule them when I’m paranoid of what might be medically wrong with me but then cancel again when I get scared & it’s an never ending cycle. the doctors sound annoyed with me on the phone and I get incredibly anxious and just hate myself. And when I have my mental break downs, I think of other things about myself that I don’t like and I can’t think of anything good and I feel the world crumbling around me and think I’m too much to handle and just wish I didn’t exist while bawling my eyes out and wanting to just rip my hair out. I hate this.. it’s too much for me.
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Tell me I’m wrong for feeling like this
Relationship Stress / by orangeVase6516
Last post
 March 29th, 2023
...See more I love my fiancé. I really do. But all we do is watch tv shows in his room & honestly, I get bored of it sometimes. I want to go out & do stuff too. We don’t have licenses yet (I’m scared of driving, my anxiety gets really bad but I’m working on getting a license). But he says he would rather just hang out at his house because he doesn’t like being driven around by our grandparents or parents because he feels like he’s a failure since he’s 23 and doesn’t drive. But he can go out with his friends who drive him around perfectly fine. I got upset with him and told him it wasn’t fair that he goes out with his friends and doesn’t do that with me. Like I get he doesn’t like our parents/grandparents driving us around but then again, I don’t see how it’s fair that he still goes out with his friends and won’t go out with me. He said it’s different with friends because they’re the same age as him and they have a car. And said once one of us gets a car, then he would love to go out with me. I don’t want to wait until we get our license to go out. He also says it’s easier for him to go out with friends because they all work at the same place and can just leave to go eat and then leave to walk the mall and go shopping at the mall after work. But when I ask to go eat or go shopping, he wants to just hang out at home. How is this fair? He seems to think it is.
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Tell me I’m wrong for feeling like this
Relationship Stress / by orangeVase6516
Last post
 March 29th, 2023
...See more I love my fiancé. I really do. But all we do is watch tv shows in his room & honestly, I get bored of it sometimes. I want to go out & do stuff too. We don’t have licenses yet (I’m scared of driving, my anxiety gets really bad but I’m working on getting a license). But he says he would rather just hang out at his house because he doesn’t like being driven around by our grandparents or parents because he feels like he’s a failure since he’s 23 and doesn’t drive. But he can go out with his friends who drive him around perfectly fine. I got upset with him and told him it wasn’t fair that he goes out with his friends and doesn’t do that with me. Like I get he doesn’t like our parents/grandparents driving us around but then again, I don’t see how it’s fair that he still goes out with his friends and won’t go out with me. He said it’s different with friends because they’re the same age as him and they have a car. And said once one of us gets a car, then he would love to go out with me. I don’t want to wait until we get our license to go out. I’m very upset.
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