Thoughts Are Not Thoughts Anymore Once Spoken
I really do not understand my wife a lot of the time. I know she does not understand me. We have been together since 2012(marr. 2017), I feel like sometimes the things she says is either out of spite or intentionally trying to push my buttons. We are the precipice for our marriage and the ultimate dissolution of it. She tells me once we move back home then we are separating and then will divorce. But then last night she told me how she cant believe she would let me go and wants to be with me. Our marriage is far from perfect, I have made many many stupid choices over the years out of selfishness and anger toward her for things she has said to me. In the end we are all broken but thoughts don’t hurt until they are spoken and then they are not thoughts anymore.
Hi @liquidfuse
Understand that marriage or longterm relationship is never easy. Because feelings are fleeting and the novelty faded. Regardless who we are with. No marriage is perfect 🙂
I agree, thoughts are not thoughts anymore once spoken. Sometimes it hurts a lot and difficult to forget.
Perhaps, thinking with an end of mind may help to let it go. What's the goal?
@liquidfuse What would you say was the basis of this love and subsequent marriage? What was there before which seems to be little less present now?
I’m sorry to hear the difficulties you’ve been going through. I can only offer my own experience which doesn’t mean that it’s the same as your wife. If you would like me to share please let me know. Professional therapy may help you both to unravel the dynamic between you to come back together if it’s possible. Chemistry is not the same as compatibility and maybe therapy will help you to communicate and hold the space necessary.
We are in a similar situation in our marriage. We’ve been together since ‘00…married since ‘05. It feels like the entire time has been a roller coaster. There has been really good and really really bad. We are both at fault and neither of us perfect. I asked for a divorce last year. He begged me to stay. Said all the right things…then did nothing for a year…now suddenly he is making changing…but everything just feels different. He has said some horrible things, and I’m just supposed to forget them “because he didn’t mean it.” But I do love him, even if it’s different than it used to be…and I don’t want my kids to grow up in a broken home…and I don’t know that I could survive without him without being completely miserable. We are both totally broken and messed up…and it just makes me so sad because all I ever wanted was a marriage full of love and partnership…I literally am just going day by day right now because I have no clue anymore what will or should happen. I’m sorry you are dealing with this. I hope you feel like you have some answers soon.
@MoonstoneHope I am sorry to hear it's been very tough for you, and it is remarkable the sacrifice you make for your home and children.
Here is a growth path to help you smile https://www.7cups.com/path/playlist/smile/
Thanks 🙏 ☺️