Tired and Stressed
So, the holidays are coming up, and as everyone knows it is an anxious time when dealing with family.
I currently work remotely in Florida but I am in California visiting family and friends. I am here for a month and have never really had a day to myself between work and seeing friends. My parents have made plans with their friends which there is nothing wrong with but want me to be a part of all the plans. I work full-time from a different time zone, have my own personal plan with my friends and now I have to follow my parents around and hang out with them and their friends. I am 22 years old and can't make everything. Just seeing everyone and attending these different events are exhausting.
Anyway, last week was my birthday and I took a few days from work to go on a trip with my friends and I am back now. It was fun but a very tiring trip. Because I took off from work, I have a lot to catch up on this week and may even have to work tomorrow (Wednesday before Thanksgiving.) My family lives in a small apartment since they are in the process of moving so I told my parents that I will be working on Wednesday from my friend's apartment and will only come home on Thursday. It is too congested in their apartment and my friend has the space and offered to allow me to stay for a bit.
My parents got mad that I won't be joining them for dinner with their friends on the day before Thanksgiving because I just want a break and do not really feel like doing anything that evening. I am seeing them for Thanksgiving dinner on Thursday and I am spending the weekend seeing some friends who I have not seen in a month. I really just could use a break but my parents are not understanding. They are saying that the dinner with their friends is to celebrate me even though I get bored at these things since I am 22 and everyone else is a lot older. They also tell me that the Wednesday before Thanksgiving is light and that because of having less work, I should still come and hang out with them.
I keep explaining to them that I am 22 and have my own life and that I cannot make every event possible. I have even canceled on my own friends a few times. I really need some time to just take care of myself and not constantly be forced to join in on THEIR plans with THEIR friends. But, they still do not understand. I am just tired and stressed and confused.
Sorry for the long post! Any advice is appreciated:)
@fearlessOwl8980
Hey there,
It sounds like you have several things going on at one time: work, family and friends. I understand that it must be stressful trying to set priorities within the time frame that you will be visiting.
I think that everyone has their own idea of what is important during the holidays, and you are the only one who can decide what is important to you this time of year. Once you decide, you can share with your family and friends what you choose to do.
~ Sher
@fearlessOwl8980 I'm glad you took the step to try to set a boundary with them and support you to continue sticking to doing what is best for you even when their response is scary and hard to deal with. My parents have responded similarly when I've tried to set boundaries with them as well. Their response is not your responsibility and it's not your job to always please them at the expense of your own needs. Imo, the more you keep sticking to your guns, the more they will have to accept it. *hugs*