I hate my mom sometimes
Im 14, I live with my mom and grandma,
I have only one friend, she's my best friend and I love going to her house, well I kinda like her brother, he's 17 and im 14, so obviously we won't date but we liked each other for a bit now, obviously nothing has ever happened, we are still just friends because of the age gap. Like we js play Roblox and stuff.
Well I told my mom that, and she said im never allowed to go over again. A year ago I was r@ped by one of my old friends brothers, I dont talk to them anymore obviously, but my bffs brother is nothing like him, he's autistic and so sweet and genuinely makes me laugh, there is no lust in it.
And every time I explain that my mom just yells at me at the top of her lungs eather no or leave her alone, and it really hurts. She acts like im a whor3.
And obviously I love her but it just really hurts my feelings. My grandma said she'll let me go back eventually, she always gives in, my grandma is uselly right about that kinda stuff so I have hope, but I just wish my mom was nicer and would stop yelling at me all the time, i feel so worthless because of how she talks about me sometimes..
But I've went over to my friends house every few weekends for a day within for 2 years, I love there family, I love being around them, and im genuinely happy when over and I've js been feeling depressed asf lately and uselly it felt a bit better when im over there and it just hurts a lot.
@selfdisciplinedChestnut9003 I'm sorry what happened to you. 😞 You didn't deserve that. I'm sorry your mom yells at you. I hope she can be nicer to you and loving. You are not worthless.
Thank you, that actually means a lot
@selfdisciplinedChestnut9003
I understand these feelings, when you desperately want something but your parents stand in the way... It's a difficult and painful feeling, but please... excuse her.
Try to put yourself in her shoes. She's probably blaming herself and experiencing fear and anxiety since the day you were gràped.. Her refusal and her feelings largely stem from her worry for you. Perhaps she feels like a failure as a mother because she couldn't protect you, perhaps she doesn't know how to deal with her own feelings and yours..
Often, we act coldly towards those we love because we're afraid we can't protect them, not because we hate them or want to stop them from doing what they want, but because a feeling of helplessness makes a person act irrationally.
Try talking to her calmly and give her space to express herself.. Write her a letter if talking is difficult. Open your heart to her because, believe me... no one in the world loves us as sincerely as a mother. I
wish you all the best dear.
I know she js doing it cuz me cares and all, but i js wish she tried to communicate better and if I ask her if she could or try to talk to her about it, she would mock me, she did before then she js got some relatives to laugh at me with her and it js makes me feel like a joke, I love my mom, but i just wish she was a little different..
What if your friend (who is girl) will come to your house, where your mom could see you both and be ok with it?
Also age gap and autism doesnt automatically mean something sexual will or wont happen so take care of yourself please
Also perhaps you deserve clarificarion from your mother about what you are supposed to do now. You will not talk to boys again untill you are 18 or what? What exactly she doesnt like? That you feel sexual attraction? That you hang out? That he tries to make you laugh?
You already hanged out with your friend and ger brother for some time.
What is it that makes it not ok now?
I suppose your mother is scared that ypu will fall in love with some jerk and she wont be there to stop you, or stop him from hurting you. But she cant save you from everybody by loking you in, you are not Rapunzel, ok?
Hold on girl.
