Narcissistic Mother? Helicopter parents??

Wasn't sure where to start. I'm 30 years old, have been married almost 6 years and have 2 kids. My parents have never cared for my husband and it's always caused a lot of tension and winded up driving me to move out of my parents home in my early 20s.

My dad passed almost 4 years ago now so my husband and I moved in with my mom to help her out with the house and financially. Since then, it's been battle after battle with home repairs and issues with my mom not helping, etc. When my dad passed my mom filed for bankruptcy to help cover some bills, but it winded up costing her more... my husband and myself have done/do everything we can from keeping the house clean, to yard work, to buying extra groceries, etc.

The house needs even more work now with the AC breaking on us, dryer went out, etc.

We are outgrowing the house as well.. it's a 3bed, 1bath and a little over 1,000 Sq feet with 3 adults and 2 kids... i just have really felt like I just can't sink anything else into because we're not going to stay there forever and it's taken so much out of us already. The plan was to let my mom get out of bankruptcy, which would have been 2.5 more years...then selling the house.

Well....we were offered a home for rent from my husband's family in our proce range. It's a 3bed, 2 bath house, 1,600 Sq feet. Perfect for us and the kids. It was a bit unexpected.

I sat down with my mom and told her what was going on. She has the option of selling the house were in which would pay off her debt and give her some equity of out it.

This is such a good opportunity for my own family and I didn't want to pass it up. My mom is still very well capable of caring for herself. But she's upset with me over wanting to move. I told her that we would help her as much as we could to get everyone settled. But she's upset that I don't want to continue living with her. If I were to spend the remainder of her life with her, then over half my life will have been spent living under the same roof with a parent. And that's just not a goal for me. I don't want to be in my 50s before finally getting some privacy with my own family.

My mom has always been a bit too involved. I was her best friend growing up, not my dad. So when my husband and I got together, I think it was hard for her because she felt like she was losing me. But they pushed me away more by being so controlling and unsupportive. As na adult, it seems lik3 every decision I've made, they have hated... really.

So now, she's blaming my husband and his family for, "taking me and the kids away from her."

Anytime we do something she doesn't like, my husband gets the blame and I, "let it happen."

But it was fine for her to move in with her boyfriend a year ago and leave us having to pay for her house by ourselves... it wad fine for her to go on a cruise to the Bahamas with a man she knew a month...2 weeks after my daughter (her granddaughter) was born...

And anytime I try to say something to her about something that's bothering me, she feels like I'm attacking her...

And now she's trying to guilt trip me over moving by making comments like, "I always told your daddy I would die alone." And "I'll never see you and the kids again." Or new one today.. "I'll die within a year because I don't ever est nothinf." But yet doesn't cook because she says we don't like what she cooks, but she doesn't like what we cook...never eats because she would rather drink beer and never eats even if I do cook something she likes...but because I want to move, she's going to starve??

Make it make sense....

There's so much more I could throw in here....I just needed to vent. I'm so tired of fighting and slaving and being guilt tripped and being used...

I want my house with my husband and my kids....I want to be free.