My best friend and I have known each other for more than a year now, and we met when I had nobody else to turn to. I was feeling terrible and basically hated myself and everything I do, but then she came into my life and I was just so happy. We spent a lot of time together, and despite 3 year age difference our friendship was going very well. (Age difference probably wouldn't matter if it wasn't for the fact that she's still in middle school while I'm in high school, and she's at that weird awkward age that everyone had)
She was really the only person in my little world for so long, and I loved her with my whole heart. I still do. However, I also managed to find new friends recently, and so did she. We still talk regularly and it mostly feels the same as before, but first red flag I noticed was how she acted when I mentioned finally making friends at school. When she talked about her new friends, I was genuinely happy for her, but it seemed like the feeling wasn't mutual. She was obviously jealous. I tried introducing her to my friends but she was just talking about how great she is and trying to prove herself for some reason.
She's also constantly venting about everything, sending 20-50 tiktoks a day about how sad she is, how everybody hurt her and stuff like that. I'm not invalidating her feelings because I know she's not really at the best place rn, that her parents aren't the best with all the restrictions they give her and everything and that she feels like she doesn't fit in. I get it how it feels to have your crush not like you back. It happened to me for literal years. I don't understand her position perfectly and I'm not a psychologist, but I really am concerned for her but at the same time, sometimes I get angry at her for always sending those things, talking about her problems all the time even when they don't seem real because some of those situations would never happen. I know very well that she has made up things to sound interesting before(no it's not me thinking that she did. She talked about it later as if she never said it was true). It just gets exhausting sometimes. Even though I know that I should help her and that I'm thinking the wrong way. It's wrong to assume things and the worst of all would be to think that she's doing it for attention. I hate that it crossed my mind a few times. I feel like a terrible friend. I try my best to help, but after all, I'm not much of a friend if I doubt her honesty about her problems. I know how hard it is to open up to someone, and it's even harder of people have disappointed you more times than you can count.
The thing is, she is always talking about how dangerous she is, how she can manipulate people and ruin their lives and stuff like that. It would all be harmless talk if she hasn't tried to persuade me to do things I don't want because it's for her and "If I love her I'll do it". There's also multiple cases of her getting mad at a certain friend of hers and making that friend believe she is in grave danger, did something terrible or is about to commit suicide. To be fair, the last one was just an idea she was about to do until I told her it's the most obnoxious thing someone can do.
That wasn't the first time she mentioned suicide. I'm actually worried about her, a lot. Sometimes she's happy, then she hates herself. Then she's talking about how she has everything and later how she has nothing and everybody left her. It's so confusing and I'm scared she'll do something dangerous. I'm also worried that I'm being a bad friend, since at times I think of her as toxic even though I know she's not and I know she's trying her best. Am i overreacting about everything?
