Am I overdoing things?
Next week, I am having an annual thanksgiving dinner at my home with some friends. Every year I do my share of cooking turkey, stuffing, and a few other side dishes. Meanwhile, I create a list of Thanksgiving-related type foods that can by bought at the store, to contribute to the event, which you can get pre-made at the store. As the event gets closer, I like to use the platform messenger to contact people in which I remind them to go through the list and let everyone know who is bringing what. I have also been putting some fun Thanksgiving videos in the invitation.
Well, a friend originally said he was coming and signed up to bring sodas but decided to bail last night. He said, "I want to rest and that's the only Friday that I have things to do so."
Am I overdoing it?
@Summershy
I know it is logical to keep in touch with people responsible for bringing things cannot tell you how many times i gently nagged about what they should or should not etc and they just decided thanks but no thanks....I am not saying that is what you are doing but the gentle reminders ......while appreciated by some it does rub others the wrong way
@toughTiger6481
How often should I do the gentle reminders?
@Summershy
I am still navigating that ..... some people need hand holding and reminders every so often and some do not want any the fine line is somewhere in between.
@Summershy,
no
@Summershy
Its OK .. this thanksgiving dinner obviously means a lot to you, so you’re very emotionally invested in its success.
I will say however that the more we rely on other people, the more it opens up the situation to complications. I guess at this stage if he’s decided not to come, all you can do is ask someone else to cover sodas; cover sodas yourself, or do without sodas. Part of any plan always needs a contingency for when the plan is not working as planned.
You can only do so much. You can only control your own plans and your own initiative. Other people will let you down and disappoint you at some point. It’s not ideal. You can let it ruin your thanksgiving … or you can accept that it happens; and move forward, and find some other way to make your Thanksgiving dinner a success regardless.
I hope it all works out well for you!
CatsInTheCradle
@CatzInTheCradle
I am not upset because I have other people coming and I did ask someone else to bring the soda
I hope your party goes well! I feel like having the list is good so people have a suggestion of what to bring and you don't have like four people bringing chips lol. At the same time, maybe your anxiety about having everything in place is stressing you out? I think most people at an event like this expect the host to have the main dishes and that the things they bring like appetizers, chips, etc are less important and if someone forgets the party won't fall apart. I can see how it would be stressful when people cancel though, but also it's kind of the nature of the holidays being a bit hectic maybe. Just my two cents.
I asked people to bring side dishes that one would eat on Thanksgivings. However, one of my guests originally said she was coming with another friend of mine. She even said yes on the invite, so I was expecting her. When he came over, it turned out that she bailed on me a week ago. Yet, rather than tell me, she texted him about not liking the idea of bringing any of the options on the list. Excuse me?
