Did I make the right decision?
I've been very close friends with a group of people for 3+ years whom I cared about so so much.
Since the start of the year, people have moved and so we live further away but still talk via group chats and meet up every few months. I've noticed most people in that chat usually talk privately with others and meet up individually as well which is fine, but I've ended up being the person who is always messaging first and asking to do things but I never receive any unprompted messages in return.
Everyone is different financially and have different interests so I try to think of things that would cater to them but when they say no and don't follow up with an alternative suggestion I feel rejected and feel like they don't care about me.
It gets even more annoying when I later learn that friends have put in effort to meet up with other people despite having financial issues and other things going on and I wonder why Im not being treated the same. I explained this to 2 friends at the start of the year who both told me not to worry but nothing changed.
A few days ago I got fed up and left our main group chat and I'm thinking about distancing myself from everyone as no one has reached out to see if I'm ok. I initiated one conversation with someone in that group who asked if I was attention-seeking or had accidentally offended someone. I told her I haven't but to tell me if I have without intending to. I explained to her why I'm upset and she told me I should've spoken more about it but when i tried to, nothing changed.
Am I making a mistake by reading into this situation too much?
@BlueSapphire24
I'm just not sure if your reading into this too much..
What i do see is you are feeling left out and neglected..
You seem to be feeling a strain from dealing with these friends.. You have done your part by discussing these issues with them..
Maybe you should find friends that support you more..🌟
You can only go by how you are treated, if no-one makes the effort or has indicated a problem, then what else is there to think?
Rejection is hard and you deserve to have people making the effort and compromising with you too. Hopefully you'll find some caring people that appreciate your wonderful qualities soon :)
@Blue Sapphire24 I feel the same way about one group of friends and all I want to do is get out now. The distance I have put is also making me realize how much of the bond was just formed under pressure and because of proximity. If we had met somewhere else and they had behaved the way they did, I would not have chosen them, not for their selfishness and lack of kindness.
The lack of effort and support says a lot and it can take a blow on your self-esteem in the long run. There are other people who will be willing to reciprocate consistently, choose them. I’m devoting my time and energy to those who can do so willingly. Good luck to us.
@brightSpring4247 I wish you luck as well. It's funny how time away from a group of people shows you who's wishing to stay close. I think as I get older, I realise friendships need more effort to sustain and it's exhausting being the only one trying to make things work.
I am facing a similar situation