I think im losing my best friend and I'm not sure if I'm sad
so I've been friends with f for almost 9 years now, we're 13, so a really long time now. however.. she's not the most emotionally mature and sometimes it's hard to stick with her. the other day we got into a big argument. she involved one of her friends and the friend said that I'm a "selfish and careless b-word" because I lost track of time at f's bday party trying to help her lil sister make her a surprise. I admit I wasn't with her for as long as would have liked, but the people she was with I aIso didn't know so it was uncomfortable. so I apologized profusely. but when her friend sent that (it's in a voice mail) and I brought it up, f didn't say she was wrong. then later f blocked me. I'm o confused and tired of this. the relationship between us is really complicated tho in a lot of ways, but honestly I've been ready to let her go for a while. just don't know how. and if I do she doesn't have many other friends at school so I don't wanna leave her like that.im lost.. does anybody have advice?
@lolorye89
It sounds like she's already let go of you. Let her go... Her choice in friends at school is not your responsibility. She will make more friends. You need to move on and find someone who will fully and deeply treasure you for you <3
@jesusredeemedme2425
it's like I know that in my head, but I don't know it in my heart. I kind of want to move on from her but I don't know how. she's also friends with people in my friend group so we wousld still see eachother. thanks for the support tho
I totally understand. It’s a really hard situation :(
@lolorye89
The process of losing someone is a process: there’s feelings of sadness and anger, it’s all mixed up (you can search for a detailed description online). What has helped is getting support from friends and family, people who you can trust (and probably who don’t have any connection to this friend of 9 years). If there’s no one like that in rl, there’s a lot of support in this 7Cups website. Sharing these feelings instead of keeping them bottled up is what helps us move through.
Regarding your friend group, if you each mind your own business, then it will probably feel awkward for a little while but in time everyone will move on. If anyone (even if your friend isn’t involved) tries to stir up anything, then do your best in the moment to not add to the drama—then get guidance immediately, like at 7Cups, for how to navigate the situation (it will be different depending on who the “players” are).
I hope this helps, please stay connected!
@FaithfulScout
thanks! we'll see what happens. I made a promise to myself a while back that I'll try to treat everyone nicely, just not everyone gets to be treated friendly, because to me there's a difference. I'll be nice, just not friendly. thanks again
@lolorye89
Hey just checking in to see how things are going with all your friends, and everything.
There's people here who care (count me as one)!
Catch you later!
I'm really not sure.. were going into 8th grade so honestly I might just push through for one more year with her to make it easier. we haven't really talked abt it since so I have no idea. I just don't know what i would say to her. thanks for teaching out tho.
@lolorye89
It might be best to keep things going for another year, like you said, even if there are difficult feelings; as long as they don’t interfere with your other friendships, then you can deal with this old friendship on your own, and by “on your own”, I mean with people outside of these school friends—aunts, uncles, cousins, older siblings, parents, a therapist, parents of other friends … and if no one else comes to mind, there is the community at 7Cups.
You have a whole circle of people here for you to talk about what happened with your friend and if there really is something for you to discuss with her, or not.
Do keep in touch 🙂
im gonna talk to her about it tonight, if she responds, thank you all for your support tho <3
