It is Better to Never Have Loved at All, Than to Have Loved and Lost

I joined a gaming forum a several months ago because a friend reached out to me.  I don't speak to this friend often (childhood friends but now adults situation), but I was thrilled because I had been feeling pretty lonely lately.  I am extremely introverted and generally like being alone, but it would be very nice to occasionally interact with someone on more than just a superficial level.

It started out great at first.  I got to play video games online with a small group of people once a week, every week.  This was perfect, I was really happy.  A casual game night once a week, for even just an hour or two, was the perfect amount of socialization for me.  I got to hang out with my friend and met some new people I thought I could get along with.

This only went on for about a month before everyone got bored or something and stopped wanting to do game night.  I was really disappointed by this, but I guess I can't expect such commitments from other people.  Ever since then, I have only been able to participate in one game night because they were too busy playing the latest game together that I wasn't interested in.  I suppose it's fair enough.

Then my friend showed me a new game.  They were excited about this game and really hyped me up for it.  The new game looked really interesting, and I wanted to play with my friend 'n' co again.  So I bought the game and we agreed to a game night.  In the week leading up to the game night, I played the game on my own, and it was really fun, which made me more excited for game night.  But then came game night... and everyone bailed on me.  No one wanted to play, not even my friend.  I got excuses like "I'm sick" etc, but I could see that they were playing other games together.  They stream it, so I can clearly see what they're doing.

I was absolutely devastated by this.  I don't care if they play other games together, but they clearly don't care much for playing with me.  I don't know why my friend even invited me to this group if I was just going to be left out.  I know they're not being intentionally malicious, but they are extremely self-absorbed and inconsiderate of anyone else outside their tightly-knit group. 

I'm heartbroken and feel even lonelier than before...  This has made me feel so depressed and sad.