Why is okay that my friends are distant with me ?
Hey new here and confused tired overwhelmed and overthinking. But here's the jist of it. Last year I had a mental breakdown at a Thanksgiving party. I felt terrible and like I'm burdening those around me. I told them that and they told me that's not the case. But my best friend didn't invite me to her bday party I got uninvited to my friend's wedding even tho I remember being asked to be apart of it and agreeing. Then new year starts. I still feel bad but now lonely more so than before. Like why did I even do that in front of them. Well now I've moved and that was a lot and I definitely asked if I could get some help. But they told me I asked too late or I didn't ask at all. Why should I have to ask for help when clearly you see I'm drowning ? No I'm not sure I know everyone has their own lives to deal with. I just wish I was apart of their thought process sometimes.
@affectionateHuman3630
Thank you so much for sharing with us. Seems like you have been struggling a lot. The way they reacted about and after your breakdown tells a lot about why you didn't tell them earlier. While sometimes, even the closest of people don't realise you are drowning beside you, it's valid that you wanted them to understand. At the very least, they could have reacted better, now that they know.
I hope you get amazing friends who will be a rock by you through it all. Wishing nothing but the very best for you. 💙
Would love to keep hearing from you if you want to keep us updated. How have you been doing lately after it all?
@River
Thank you for your response. And your kind words I really need them. Really letting me thoughts know out loud but anonymously feels good as well.
I've been saying I'm fine or okay to those who ask. But really I'm not. When I moved I moved a whole apt by my self basically. Heavy dressers and TVs wood and basically draining my energy. Once it was over and the help I did receive was my friends mother. She told me she wanted to help. It made me feel bad because she's a older woman and yes it was just cleaning but I felt bad for even having to have her help. Her son and daughter both came at me as if I had her working for weeks when really it was 1 day of cleaning. They said it seems I'm in grateful and using their mom. They said they were disappointed in me that I should have had all the time in the world to get right. I felt even more useless than I already was. I had to apologize to them and tell them I am grateful and I do appreciate any help and I'm not using anyone. Which is why I don't ask for help anyways. Why do I have so much to apologize for? When I'm just drowning and I feel like I've told them that. I feel like they've known me long enough to see it too. I also don't want to be self centered and bother anyone so it all mainly just stays inside my head. But I definitely let it be known it just feels like they don't care or maybe their lives are more important which is understandable.
@affectionateHuman3630
Hello,
Thank you for responding. I would definitely love to keep hearing from you.
And moving is a huge task, having to do it alone is tiring, draining and exhausting. This is one task you wish you had help with, really. And seems like, your friend's mom offered out of goodwill, which is really nice for her. And cleaning sounds like a doable thing and not as if you're taking advantage of her. Sorry, they framed her goodness and your gratitude as so. What concerns me more is your friends not offering to help, and now, being mad because you had someone help you. As your friends, they should have seen how gigantic a task it is. Even their mom saw it.
I wish you had some people in your life who are there for you at the time of your need, kind stranger. 💙
How have you been currently? How is the new place like? Are you adjusting well?
@River
well I'm currently renting a room as I don't really have the funds to have my own place. I'd like to say it's close to my job and I love it. But it's not. It's taking me all I have to maintain. But I've been smiling through it. Once they did all that I emotionally shut down and almost lost my job because of it. I've gotten myself back on track but I didn't have anyone to vent or talk too without thinking I'm bothering them so it was all bottled up and I exploded. But the people who stay here are nice and my dogs like them so that's a plus. I feel better having the conversations. Honestly too.
I have had similar situations where I was not invited to things are uninvited to things. The way I see it , it seems some people are not equipped to understand our mental health, depression, and pain at times . People seem to misunderstand others and it’s really sad . If we all showed compassion, empathy, and understanding towards each other - the world may be a better place . Sadly, this is not reality . I hope you are getting help . I just signed up here today and hope I can speak to a therapist soon. They seem busy. You have to try to make new friends or confront the old ones . If the friendship is not there anymore, you may have to move on. It hurts and it sucks but if they really cared for you , they should have invited you ! Not everyone can be invited to everything - I get that . But, if you feel the distance then trust your heart and I pray you overcome the pain they caused you . Fight for new friends . Fight for help . Fight for yourself . This life is hard but we got to manifest greatness still . Sending positive energy .
I have had similar situations where I was not invited to things are uninvited to things. The way I see it , it seems some people are not equipped to understand our mental health, depression, and pain at times . People seem to misunderstand others and it’s really sad . If we all showed compassion, empathy, and understanding towards each other - the world may be a better place . Sadly, this is not reality . I hope you are getting help . I just signed up here today and hope I can speak to a therapist soon. They seem busy. You have to try to make new friends or confront the old ones . If the friendship is not there anymore, you may have to move on. It hurts and it sucks but if they really cared for you , they should have invited you ! Not everyone can be invited to everything - I get that . But, if you feel the distance then trust your heart and I pray you overcome the pain they caused you . Fight for new friends . Fight for help . Fight for yourself . This life is hard but we got to manifest greatness still . Sending positive energy .