Am I just not meant for people?
So hi I'm new to 7cups and I wanted to ask a bit of a question, so for context I think outside of elementary school I never really meshed well with people sure I sometimes made friends but after a while it never necessarily lasted long rather if it was me swapping schools or just folks loosing interest of course I have the benefit of talking to some of my online friends which I've grown to be pretty comfortable around but then when it comes to reaching out to some of my old school friends it always feels awkward like I try to initiate a conversation or just keep some basis of normalcy that usually goes like "hey I'm just existing how are you lol" and it doesn't help that when my social ques are pretty terrible as an introvert with autism. So should I just accept the way I am?
@Lonewolf360
I was wondering if you were autistic due to what you said, when I got to the bottom and you mentioned it! lol
So I'm autistic toooooo... And yes this is totally normal <3 I was bad at social stuff when I was in college at first. But I had to keep working at it and failing (and I still fail!), and then stuff gets easier. :)
I'd love to talk to you about this... Ask me anything! <3
Yes I am autistic or an aspie(if were going by the specific term)I got diagnosed with it around elementary but I didn't really get what it meant until I started middle school and moved states, guess my question would be is it okay that I ain't necessarily a social butterfly like sometimes I feel guilty about it because I find being by myself comfortable but then I barely manage to keep a conversation going and I feel guilty about it lol
@Lonewolf360
Lucky you, you got a diagnosis. I tried to get one as an adult and said it was just ADD… Yeah, the symptoms aren’t remotely the same lol!
Absolutely!!! Even NTs have a spectrum of “introvert/shy/prefers their own company” to “extrovert/outgoing/can make friends with a rock” lol. Everyone is different. Autism is hard. It’s ok to be happy with yourself and who you are. It’s also ok to want to be different, and to work to become more extroverted. <3
Ah I see never really got to think about that way heck at most my most out going version of myself was being a comedic goofball but even then that was quite tiring when I just took off the mask and just reverted to being my normal self
@Lonewolf360
Would you consider yourself an ambivert then?
What are you when you’re alone? Is that your true self?
Well I guess when I'm more comfortable around folks I tend to be talkative but other than that I tend to be pretty reserved never heard of the term ambivert until now
Oh...well that's something I never really took into consideration well you learn something new everyday
@Lonewolf360
Is there a super cool movie coming out? Invite someone to go with you <3 Or a whole group! <3
Ehhh I can't really think of anything off the top of my head and then there's the issue of both money(lack of job) and my past irl friends schedules being pretty rough to properly work around unfortunately
@Lonewolf360
Maybe it's time to make some new friends? Any ideas of ways you could do that with low pressure? :)
Well it's kinda funny how you mention that because I have been making some new online friends as of recently and besides some awkward beginnings so fat it's turning out pretty well
@Lonewolf360
How is it awkward?
Have you gotten any phone numbers or hung out with people? <3
Well awkward in the sense of meeting new people and trying to remember mentally "oh yeah I have new folks I can just talk with" as opposed to my other habit of just drowning out the silence with music but we've talked plenty of times tho
@Lonewolf360
Do you use music as an escape?
Honestly depends on my mood when nothing is really going on in the day
@Lonewolf360
I've been toying with the idea of using music to shut people out when I just want to be alone on lunch at work. lol
Back when i used to work at cvs my schedule was sorta odd so I had the breakroom mostly to myself when lunchtime rolled around lol
@Lonewolf360
Lucky. My breakroom is usually teeming with loud people XD (I love them btw lol)
@Lonewolf360 People can be difficult and complicated, especially socially. You sound like a really great person to me. I love people who are honest and real. Keep being yourself :)
Thanks
@Lonewolf360 You're welcomed fellow lonewolf :)
@Lonewolf360
Atp
@Lonewolf360 only accept what brings you happiness. If that means your happier alone or with lots of friends, as long as your happy. Then that's all that matters. Online friends sounds promising too ❤❤ and remember you've got us lot now too ❤ gives you a giant tiny hug ❤
I appreciate it thanks for the reaffirmation