Being friends with my ex
So, this is more of a confession. I hope there is someone else who's had this experience, I feel alone on it.
About almost 2 years ago, my friends introduced me to some of their friends. My ex was among them. We met, quickly fell and started dating. It lasted about 8 months and he then told me that tmit was all too much for him. He said he wasn't ready, and that we were too different (we were opposites, he was avoidant and I was anxious)but still wanted me to be friends with him. I explained to him that I really enjoyed the time we spent together but that I could not be friends with him because I was in love. I then blocked him, and started dating someone new a few months later.
Fast foward, almost 2 years later my friends are having a get together and HE is going to be there. Those friends are now my roommates, so I unblocked my ex thinking that he wouldn't notice or reach out. We'll... to my surprise a few days later he DID reach out. I've been all over the place about it, because I still can't believe it. We talk every few days, which I'm happy for. I've prayed everyday to God for his happiness, I've prayed everyday that he was okay, I've prayed everyday that he and his daughter were happy. I even prayed that God would bring him back to me ad a friend... but I NEVER expected that wish to be granted.
I'm suddenly realizing that I very much so still do love him, and I'm slowly accepting the fact that I may NEVER stop loving him. He will always have a place in my heart. I will always cherish what we had. When he reached out he told me it was sweet to see that I'm still a good person, and that he's happy for me for doing better.
I still feel the sting, is this normal? Has anyone ever felt this? Why would god bring him back to me...now? After all these years. I want answers but god isnt answering them.
@gentleOak5612 Yes this is absolutely normal! It's okay to have strong feelings for someone, even your ex. Before you start to get too comfortable with him again and get talking more, I feel you should have a conversation on if it will potentially work again or if you two are better off remaining friends.
I dont think I should ask him this, only because I have a current partner. I believe in being friends with exes, this ex however... I was really in love with him. I always wanted to be friends with him just to watch him be happy but now that's it's suddenly happening I'm emotionally all over the place. I wasn't ready for God to grant my wish and wonder why he even granted it in the first place. This is a big step.
@gentleOak5612
I know it sounds simple but when people interact with us i always feel there is a lesson or reason.
perhaps whatever reason or lesson you had with this person is not finished. It can be you learning that you can love someone and save a piece of your heart for them and it does not interfere with other people in your life. maybe He was suppose to learn something from you.
I'm trying to not let my emotions on him interfere. He never stopped being on my mind, now that we are here and he put steps for a bridge to friendship to be built, I'm all over the place. I know he was an avoidant, and I was anxious. If I try to talk to him too much I'll overwhelm him for sure. I want to be closer to him as a friend, but that is dangerous too. It feels like all I can do is watch him and love him from afar, just like I've always done for the past two years. Only difference now is that we are in slight communication. And it's not like I won't be seeing him, our friend group will be hosting get togethers. So at some point, I WILL see him.
