Figuring out why I feel so resentful towards a former fake friend
Hi:
Most recently I have been so resentful towards a former fake friend and her mom to the point of wanting to retaliate against them. I finally realized what that anger stems from:
- When my aunt was lying in hospice about 4 years ago, she and her mom were not very supportive. Instead, she was more concerned about introducing me to some new friends because I talk too much.
- About 6 months later, neither she nor her mom seemed to ask me how I was doing, rather, everything was about them.
- Two month, a friend of mine had a little too much to drink at a party that I threw and she did what she could to try and make me look bad.
A. She told him not to hang out with me because I am a bad influence because I happened to have alcohol at my party but getting people to get drunk was not my intention.
B. I lost my temper at her and started swearing in the background and she told him that she would like to put me in a straight jacket.
I am working to let them go and move on with my life because I have learned that they were fake friends who don't care about anyone but themselves.
@Summershy
Hello! Thank you for sharing your story!
Getting it out of your system is an excellent way to start!
Personally, I still have some resentment towards some toxic friends in my past and thinking about them makes me mad because of all the time invested in them and their well-being, while they were making me feel bad about myself.
But ultimately it's all in the past, and I am safe now. And you are safe now, too. And we can focus on the future without toxicity and with the knowledge of how red flags in "friends" look like.
So in conclusion, letting go is hard, and it takes a while to do so. But I am sure you will get there & will probably meet new and amazing people in the process :)
@BlondeBunnyorRoselin
I am going to work on doing some empty chair therapy
@BlondeBunnyorRoselin
I really thank you again for your kind words and great reminder that they are not a part of my life anymore and luckily, they moved an hour away.
Not only did they make me feel bad and stick their nose up at me and the things I did, but they jerked me around at well. One minute they invited me to their home during a few holidays and assured me I was like another family member to them. Then the next, I was too loud and too talkative to have over. About 3 years before the other situation, they also had the nerve to rub it in my face that they were having this big Christmas gathering with their family and all their family members were going to be there. 😒. Yet. they knew I didn't have anywhere to go and nor did they invite me.
However, I think we can agree that these people are narcissistic
@Summershy
It is fantastic that they moved away! Like legit best case situation!
Also, that truly sucks of them. Seems like they got a weird kick out of making you feel bad :(
I honestly don't understand people like that. Something must be wrong with them too. Definitely narcissistic and selfish, for sure! >:(
It is awesome that you are starting therapy and are working on leaving their toxicity behind :)
Healing is the best revenge!
@BlondeBunnyorRoselin
Thanks, I think it will help but I now know why they invited me over their home and then suddenly found a problem with it. They were just love bombing me so they could hook me in and control me.