Like strangers with memories
Even though this is very long I'll try to shorten it as much as possible. I joined high-school and even though I tried my best to be kind to everyone and mostly just faked my personality so that I can make friends for several months none of them really worked out. I had just left a very toxic friendgroup and was just really in the dumps. I made a friend. She was almost everything I wished for in a friend. She listened to me rant and made me feel better, I told her things I never even dared to say out loud, she made me feel so important and special. But eventually she and one of the girls that had did me wrong in the past started getting close. For a bit of small context about this other girl ( let's call her May) may was a pick me. We used to be close but She never gave me the vibe that she liked me. She would constantly crave male validation and I would often be considered as "the girl who walks with May in the halls" practically living in her shadow. I started distancing myself from her when she started talking to the guy I liked even though she knew I liked him. I tried giving her multiple chances but she never changed her habits. But when I saw her try to get close with my bsf I got extremely jealous and afraid that my bsf would leave me for her. I tried talking to my bsf about this multiple times but she always brushed it off. Long story short she ended up choosing May over me and even though I thought we'd still remain friends she considered me as an opp and misunderstood my care for her as obsession. I was really hurt by the fact I was crying over our friendship while she didn't even bother to care. Usually I'd get over things like this in a month or so but I see her everyday. I have multiple classes with her. We have the same friendgroup ( they don't know what happened between us) and it hurts so much to walk by her and act like everything is fine everyday when it's not. I feel so pathetic that I can't even get myself to hate her either. She Cleary doesn't care but I just can't bring myself to do the same.
@Sourpatch123
sorry to hear what you're going through. how u feel is completely understandable and it's okay that u still care and tht it still hurts.
i too have had similar experiences. i thought i made a new best friend when everyone else around me felt fake but she left me in the end.
try focusing reconnecting with yourself. u dont need to fake who u are to be liked. just be yourself :) if u see her again, protect your peace, be polite if u need to but dont force anything tht feels fake.
u deserve friendships that feel real and mutual, and i hope u will find your people :) ♡
