My friend canceled our New York trip one week before departure, and I lost over $2,000 – what should I do?
My friend and I planned a trip to New York about a month ago. I paid over $2,000 for flights and accommodation, all non-refundable.
One week before departure, he canceled.
This is not the first time. The last time we planned a trip, he also canceled last minute and I ended up traveling alone. Because of that, I told him clearly this time that if he canceled, he would refund me. He agreed and said we were 100% going.
Now he says he can’t afford it because of car expenses and bills he already knew about when we booked.
I live in Europe, so traveling to NYC alone is a big deal, and I’ve lost a lot of money because of his decision.
What would you do in this situation?
@sensibleVillage2048
I would travel 💚
If it were me, because he is clearly not going to give you any money back.
But this is not a friend, to do it once is accidental, but twice is disrespectful 💚
So sorry this happened :(
One time, okay it sucks but sometimes life throws curveballs. Twice is just disrespectful of your time, finances, and efforts. I don't understand people who are this irresponsible with money... what did they think was going to happen when the date arrives and they can't pay up?
Stop inviting him on trips or anything that involves "borrowing" your money. Personally I would have a hard time looking past this and consider ending the friendship if the person made no effort to repay large expenses let alone not respecting the huge amount of effort that goes into planning an international trip.
If you don't cut him off entirely after this, then be firm that you won't be paying for him anymore and if he wants to do an activity with you that involves money, travel, booking tickets, then he is fully responsible for his own part even if it makes things more complicated. You will only be paying for yourself and booking your own accommodations from now on.
You should still go on the trip and not let him ruin the new experiences you were excited for. NYC can be overwhelming with sheer amount of activity and crowds but it's also very tourist-friendly. You can navigate with some effort and shop/attraction employees are very approachable and will help you if you need directions. Is there anyone else who you can bring with you so the accommodations don't go to waste? It may also be worth calling the airline/hotel/etc and telling them an emergency came up. Even if it says "non-refundable," sometimes you can get lucky and find someone sympathetic to help you out.
@sensibleVillage2048
Based on what you've stated here, you seem like a very sympathetic and kind person, someone ideal for darker personality types to take advantage of. I know because I was once the same.
As for what I'd do in this situation, here's what's concocting in my head based on your scenario:
1. I'd call my "friend" who cancelled and say something along the lines of, "Hey Jake, it's very uncool that you cancelled this time like the last one. I don't wanna keep taking the heat. My finances are tied too. You're not the only one with problems. Next time, you organize everything ontop of paying. Oh, and if you don't want to, then I don't want to either. That seems fair. We can leave it at that." Then I'd hear him a bit (or not) and end the call.
2. I'd slowly distance myself from this "friend". Because fact is, when people don't respect your time or money, then that shows how they truly see you (as someone not worthy of respect, which begs the question: Am I really a friend to them? Or am I just a convenient tool they think they can mess around with and lie to my face that I'm their "friend"?)
3. I'd either recover the money lost somehow or I'd just let it go, as price paid to see the true character of my so-called "friend". Either way, it's a win-win.
4. I'd learn and read up more on bad friendship types so I won't ever be stringed along like this again (whether by this friend or another person I am connected to).
PS; I'm interested to hear how things turn out no-matter what options you choose. Do tag me when you make another post on this so I can follow along :)
@sensibleVillage2048
I'm so sorry this happened to you. Legally speaking I'm not sure how the courts work over there but I would take that to small courts if possible or if that's something you want to do.
Emotionally it seems that this person may have some irresponsible traits, I would honestly sit down with yourself and make a list of things you do want in a friend,your boundaries and things you are not willing to put up with - if this friend doesn't meet that I would rethink the friendship.
It does sound like there may be a cycle there and that's up to you on whether or not you want to be there for that
