Weird Stalemate

I guess this is a weird stalemate?

Giving some background context for any new readers: For months now, I’ve been at conflict with an online friend named Orange stemming from various issues that started due to a campaign he’s hosting.

Recently, we are on good terms again but I can’t help but feel as if we’re still walking on eggshells. 

Admittedly, part of me is still incredibly annoyed about his campaign. Nearly all our friends are in this campaign and the reason I’m not is due to several reasons including:

• Currently on bad terms with the co-dm

• Repeated scheduling with my character

• Lack of communication regarding scheduling mentioned above (He failed to inform me my character introduction would be delayed by an  entire act (3 sessions each)

The overall mess led me to drop out of the campaign due to how it felt like I was being repeatedly mistreated compared to our other friends in the campaign.

The issue bothering me the most tonight is that he mentioned they have another campaign tomorrow (I’m primarily annoyed at the last second reminder. This is the night before it takes place). 

These days, I don’t know why I’m still so upset at the mention of his campaign.  I’m not in it nor do I plan on being in it(at least not until things get better or we properly talk about it) so why do I feel so upset when I hear them talking about when the next session is? Why do I feel so upset when they talk about it in our voice calls?

I thought the primary answer is FOMO and maybe it is but all that leads me into is: How do I get over it? The only solutions I’ve discovered are either ignoring it or distracting myself but both actions only last for so long.

I even tried switching my accounts on session days just so I don’t have to see them online but that’s not doing a lot of work either.

Any advice or support would be appreciated. If you need any clarification let me know in the comments.