Just need somebody to chat with from time to time
Hello...
40 something married man here. My issue is a little bit delicate and I'm not sure how to phrase it well. But here goes.
My wife and I are incompatable in certain ways. We love each other deeply, but she takes medication for some medical issues that for the past 10 years have sunken her libido to nearly zero. I'm the opposite, and have not found a reasonable way to cope with the immense disparity. Her medical issues are far bigger than my emotional ones, and I am not trying to change her in any way. I just need to figure out how to deal with this frustration.
I hope I don't sound like a jerk - I think I'm a good husband (coffee in bed daily, love notes, random flower deliveries) and father (cooking, cleaning, shopping, homework, fishing, sports, etc)...but I just can't figure out how to handle this. There has to be a way!
Would love to hear from somebody who has some ideas - and than you to anybody who has made it this far :-)
Sorry this is how your feeling. I don't understand how you must feel but those emotions are relatable.
I know this must be frustrating for you and I feel for you but what about your own emotional state. Don't you think that is important to?
You won't be harsh for seeking help for your own problems. It actually makes you a stronger person so don't feel guilty for getting support from a doctor or other profession. You thought about therapy? Therapy can help in so many ways. Could you look into that?
Remember your emotional problems are just as important. Once you have delt with it then you can start dealing with the bigger picture.
You sound like a nice guy and really seem to be into your partner. The physical side of things troubling you? You mentioned doing nice things for her. What's made things change? Is it physical or mental? What do you think? and will do anything for her but think about yourself too. Don't neglect you. Your be stronger and tougher facing this head on.
Anything else you like to discuss were always here.
Good Luck and Take Care x
My apologies for the delay - I guess I didn't see any kind of notification that there were any responses, and things got kind of crazy around the holidays.
I appreciate your time, and for your thoughts.
To clarify, things have not changed - I still do nice things for her as often as I can (just yesterday, when the grocery store bakery was out of the thing she seems to crave the most, I went to two other stores and when I couldn't find them, did my best to recreate them from scratch at home while she napped.)
I'm not sure what else to do or where to turn. I know I have to remember how good I have it, and how trivial this really is, when compared with what 90% of the world is going through on any given day!
@DadFrustrated. Hate to see you guys like this. I dont think its anything that you are doing or how she is reacting. In my eyes you are being super stellar, and you love her. To no ends. And that is super honorable. To me, loving someone the way that you do is magical. As for the libido part of it, thats tough. But do not stray away from her and ruin what you have accomplished in your lives. I do not know her health conditions as you say. If they are minor, have a talk with her about your needs. If they are major, be thankful that you still have her in your world, as love like this is invaluable and almost unheard of anymore, and keep doing what u do and focus on her getting better. I will tell u this, sex is not everything. U can go without. Having someone that you love and loves you is truly priceless. Try to take what she is going thru into consideration, and figure ways around it. And that would be up to you to research. Im not being a d!ck in any way. Trust me. Health problems come to us without reason. Its a test. Stick with it buddy.
