The Secret Behind Inner Peace

By Selena Rocha

Do you ever find yourself saying, “If I had ____ then I would be happy”? We often look for external things in hopes that it will fill some kind of a void we have inside. For some, it could be more friends, for others it could be finding a purpose in work, some people even turn to substances to try to fill this gap. Yes, having meaningful connections and finding a purpose are important factors to happiness, but it’s not the full solution to happiness. Substance use causes a temporary relief, which may feel good in the moment, but in the long run it is actually more detrimental to your physical and mental wellbeing. What if I told you that you’ll never find it from the outside world? What if I told you that in order to feel truly happy, we need to look within ourselves?

There are three types of “minds” that all human beings possess. Having a rational mind is decision making based on facts, while an emotional mind is decision making based on feelings. Having too much of the rational mind can be detrimental because making a true connection cannot be in a state of the rational mind. Having emotions is how people relate to each other and how we create meaningful bonds. Having an emotional mind can be detrimental to decision making. When we are lost in our emotions, we tend to make impulsive decisions. Having a wise mind is when we can have a balance between the rational mind and the emotional mind. Some people describe it as an “aha” moment or having a “gut feeling”. The goal is to be in the wise mind. Click on the link to see a visual

https://behavioraltech.org/wp-content/uploads/2020/03/Wise-Mind.jpg

The first step to being in the wise mind is to first recognize what kind of mind you are in. It’s to take a step back, evaluate and analyze, otherwise known as being mindful. If you are about to make a decision very quickly without looking at every aspect of the situation, you feel that your emotions are hard to control, and you are thinking only about the result you feel like you want, you might be in the emotional mind. The Subjective Units of Distress (SUDs) tool can help determine how much you are in the emotional mind. The scale is a rating: 0 to 10 is the green zone, it's where you want to be. Above 20 is the red zone, which can be described as anxiety, fear, or anger emotions. You can even go backwards on the scale and go into the negatives. Below -20 is the blue zone, which can be described as low, sad or depressed emotions. On the other hand, if you are ignoring your emotions and only thinking about the facts, and you are only looking for external information rather than your inner thoughts, you might be in the rational mind. Take these points into consideration in your day to day life. Click on the link for a visual

https://ccp.net.au/wp-content/uploads/2022/03/SUDS-1024x560.png

Now that you’ve recognized what kind of mind you are in you are probably wondering “How do I get into the wise mind?”. The answer is to center yourself by slowly bringing yourself away from too far in the emotional mind or too far in the rational mind, having a balance of both. For the emotional mind, a good way to center yourself is through distraction. You can distract by different activities such as exercise (doesn’t have to be a full on workout), using opposite actions to combat the emotion that you are currently in like listening to upbeat music when you are sad, revisiting the concerns related to the emotions for when you are in a different state of mind, and/or using sensations such as putting an ice pack on the back of your neck when feeling overwhelmed or anxious. Another helpful way is to write about the event that caused you to be in the emotional mind. A good way to do this is by using Cognitive Behavioural Therapy. Start with the situation and core beliefs, then identify your thoughts on the situation, then write down the emotions related to the thoughts, the bodily sensations you have on those emotions and the behaviors/actions you did based on your thoughts, emotions and bodily sensations. The last thing that will be discussed is reframing those thoughts. For example, Instead of saying “I suck at this sport”, reframe that thought to “I might not be as good at this sport right now, but I believe I could get better after practicing more”. To center yourself from the rational mind, you can consider all aspects of the situation, looking at all outcomes. After you have done that, there might be a specific alternative solution that speaks to you most. Identifying why that solution stuck out to you most is key. Click on the link to see a visual. https://www.unk.com/blog/wp-content/uploads/2016/03/psychology-tools.png

It is impossible to always be in the wise mind. So, don’t beat yourself up if you recognize that you are not in this mindset. The brain actually has the ability to rewire itself. Nerve cells in the brain (called neurons) are attached in specific patterns. The brain is able to change these patterns based on the habits you put into place. In biology terms, it’s called neuroplasticity. Therefore, you can create new habits if you put it into practice. Healthline.com states “...it takes 18 to 254 days for a person to form a new habit…on average, it takes 66 days (about 2 months) for a new behavior to become automatic”. Therefore, the saying “If you put your mind to it, anything is possible” is actually scientifically true. So keep trying and don’t give up!

I might be making a website with more articles, would any of you be interested in joining for free? I'm not sure if I should do it.

References

Wise Mind

Dbt Self Help

https://dbtselfhelp.com/dbt-skills-list/mindfulness/wise-mind/

DBT: The Emotional Mind, The Rational Mind, and The Wise Mind

Living Well Counseling

https://livingwellcounselling.ca/dbt-emotional-mind-rational-mind-wise-mind/

Mindfulness Skills in DBT: The 3 States of Mind

Stephanie Vaughn, PsyD

https://psychotherapyacademy.org/dbt/mindfulness-skills-in-dbt-the-3-states-of-mind/

Getting to Wise Mind

University of Oregon

https://counseling.uoregon.edu/getting-wise-mind

Training the wise mind for greater self-confidence

Psychology Compass

https://psychologycompass.com/blog/training-the-wise-mind/

SUDs Thermometer

Cpp.net

https://ccp.net.au/suds-thermometer/

Top 10 CBT Worksheets Websites

https://www.unk.com/blog/top-ten-cbt-workheets/

Behavioraltech.org

https://behavioraltech.org/dbt-wise-mind-part-1/