A bit hopeless
I’m running out of reasons to stay and keep fighting. It seems like all my life has been is me fighting, trying to survive. Survive my family, survive the world, survive myself. It’s like in every aspect, I am a mess. Messed up. Lacking in someway. All of a sudden I wake up and I’m an adult & the world expects me to act accordingly and know things I was never taught, be this person that I never was. In the moment, there’s no one to sympathize and carry me, so I either sink or swim. To be honest, most times I’m drowning, pretending.. and I know people see straight through me. Often times I feel weak. I feel like most people are confident or at least normal enough to hold conversations, socialize, stand up for themselves when it’s needed.. I come from a quiet family, and communication is so foreign to me. SpeaKing up is so hard for me, being myself, opening up is so hard for me. And then people assume I’m stuck up, mean or of course, weak. Why is it so hard for me, why can’t I just show up in that way.. ? Just seems like life has been a never ending process of me realizing how much I know nothing, and the world stops for no one. Sympathizes with no one. I’m put in these positions where I have to be this person, but .. I’m not.
@lovingCup504
i think most people have felt that in different moments in their lives....... we all come from different backgrounds and regardless if you come from a quiet or loud family there will be situations we may not be prepared for.
most people fake it til they make it...... it is nice if someone can show people the ropes of different situations but most things i find you have to stand up for yourself ..... ask questions and do the best you can with the information you have ........
that is adult and no one is prepared completely some are more then others but most is like an on the job training......... because you reached a certain age etc.......
It is very hard and sometimes aggravating and feels like you never catch a break ........ my guess is your parents and even their parents went through things like that too......
if possible look around and if you find someone who looks like they are doing well .....being adult .... gather tips ... have them mentor you.... learn by watching .......it is what most people end up doing
@lovingCup504 I’m sorry you’re facing these conditions and feeling this way. One thing I heard that helped me was, “Don’t compare your insides with other peoples outsides.” Meaning, you can’t see how people are handling life, you only see a façade of what they show.
@lovingCup504
Oh, this feels too relatable to bear.