About suffering
Recently Kiska and Lolita, the Orcas in captivity for humans amusement passed away. Lolita was the last captive orca who passed away few days ago.
Their major suffering was loneliness. Kiska especially was isolated for 10 years. She was often harming herself. She was often crashing herself into the boundaries of the tank.
It wasn’t their fault where they ended up. It was chosen for them. Scary, if I realize it.
No doubt that their suffering was many many times worse than my suffering. A creature of the ocean kept in a tank for amusement.
My suffering is also triggered by loneliness. This loneliness wasn’t what I expected from protecting myself from the ulterior motives of the people. The boundaries I set became crushing loneliness eventually, and now it has turned into a water tank for a creature of the ocean I basically am.
The death of Kiska and Lolita has caused a nervous breakdown to me that I am so sad that I feel like I will pass out. I’m triggered so badly. I question if such life that is not fully in my control, a world where there is my suffering, and the suffering of billions and billions of people and animals and birds, is worth it?
Existential crises you can say.
@BlahBlueBlah truth is you aren't even fully in control of your own body. Do you make your heart beat? Lungs breathe? Stomach digest food?
We are in control of little but responsible to do that which we have the power to do, and to use this to choose good not evil.
@BlahBlueBlah
Dear BlahBlueBlah,
It sounds like you are experiencing a lot of loneliness and existential struggles. It's understandable to feel overwhelmed and triggered after hearing about the suffering of Kiska and Lolita, and to question your own experiences and perspectives on the world. It's important to remember that these are valid feelings, and to give yourself space and time to process them.
♡🦁🌹Your suffering is valid, and your feelings matter. Empathy for your beloved orcas is very normal. I feel like it’s okay to seek support and help when you need it, and there are many resources available to you, including your beautiful post and artistic depiction of your beloved sea creatures, Kiska and Lolita. Consider talking to a trusted friend, therapist, or support group, or engaging in activities that bring you joy and peace. Posting here was a great way of reaching out, so thank you for doing that.
♡🦁🌹 Sometimes we have an attachment, and the loss brings strong feelings of grief and loss. Recently an oak tree on our property split and we had to have the tree taken down. This morning I counted the rings, 123 rings. What that tree has experienced just standing in one spot is a marvel to me. No wonder when I sat at her feet, I felt this calming energy pouring into me. Now there is only the stump, but it’s big enough to sit upon, and there is all this empty space and dirt. Today, I hacked at vines as thick as my arms with an ax, to save the other trees that were being choked. We’ll grow mushrooms there where there’s dirt right now, and maybe some other shade loving plants. I am grieving “my” tree, but I know I’ll get to the other side. I hope you gradually can feel this glimmer of hope yourself.
♡🦁🌹 Isolation and loneliness can be challenging to navigate, but you are not alone in this. It's important to keep in mind that your life has value and meaning, and that you have a unique perspective to offer the world. Thank you for bringing your love of Kiska and Lolita here to the forums. Remember to prioritize your own self-care, and to be kinder and more patient with yourself for now, until your feelings of grief feel more resolved. Remember that you are stronger than you know, and that you can get through this.
You deserve to feel well, and you deserve to have a fulfilling life. It's important to prioritize seek the help and support you need to manage your emotions and experiences. You can get through this, and you will be okay.
Love ♡ and Courage 🦁, Tas 🌹
