Am I in the wrong?
I’d like a calm, non-judgemental read on a family incident and guidance
I was in a car with my uncle and his daughter. A family friend’s mom came up to the car to talk to my uncle, and in my head she reminded me of a Disney villain (same haircut, age, body type). Thinking I was in a safe space, I showed the picture of the character and joked about the resemblance.
My cousin got really upset, took it as me calling her friend’s mom fat/ugly, and later told my uncle behind my back. My uncle then confronted me. I didn’t mean to be mean — it was just an unfiltered thought I blurted out.
I’m 18, I lean toward blunt humor when I'm with close ones and remove all filters, but I want to learn how to handle situations like this better. Am I wrong for removing filters and speaking my mind when with close family or is she wrong for not treating me like close family?
@crimsonDrum3043
I am assuming you did not mean anything and if this was a random person they might have laughed with you. People get worked up when they know the person and you do not.
I have a close person who like you will think hey this person reminds me of..... and look up the photo...not usually a problem until it happens to someone we know. perhaps you need to read the situation and filter on a case by case basis.
It's not that your unfiltered humor was wrong. Is who you are with that makes you feel inadequate and sounds like they take themselves way too seriously. I can't stand people like this, I lived around old-school family for way too long.
When I used to live with my mom, I had to be careful as the types of jokes I made. Even though they were funny to me, my mom always took them to heart and victimized herself like I'm personally out to get make her feel bad, so I eventually learned you can't joke with her.
Now I live with my in-laws, a completely different experience. Actually, it took me some time to adjust to the fact that they want me to make those unfiltered comments and they love me for it.
It's not you, it's the people you're unfortunately stuck with. Find others that validate your humor, I think it's very dumb the way things went down for you once you showed them the villain photo, specially now that you know she can act like one.
How I would handle it? First recognize it's not your fault someone is too sensitive. Then just be honest and say, sorry I never mean to make you feel bad in anyway, while also defending your position that your cousin exaggerated what happend. AND FINALLY, forget about it. The best thing is not giving this importance, not feeling responsible, it feels amazing trust me.
Yes she's in the wrong for overreacting. How do you navigate through life when you get offended this easily.