Anyone else feel angry and sad understanding how they were treated before?
I recently realized my friends in the university, my high school teachers, and especially my family members were really toxic and what I thought was looking out for me, was plain bullying. They were always finding ways to fix me. I knew it hurt but thought if I become a better friend then they won't complain about me anymore. Anyway after knowing it was becoming better in the wrong direction, wanting to be something I was not, like an extrovert, I feel so bad how I was treated. And the fact that I didn't realize I was being hurt. I genuinely thought I was flawed and needed to fix me. And it makes me even more sad that I wasn't even a child, it went on until I was 25, that is when I burned out and found out about it. I know many people have experienced this, so would anyone like to share if it makes you sad, melancholy, lonely?
@seashell145
I am so sorry to hear that you have gone through such a difficult experience with toxic relationships. It is never okay for anyone to try to change or fix you. You are valuable and worthy just as you are, and it is important to surround yourself with people who accept and support you for who you are. It is understandable that you may be feeling sad, melancholy, and lonely after experiencing such prolonged mistreatment. It takes time to heal and process these feelings, and it is important to give yourself the space and time to do so. It may also be helpful to seek out professional support, such as therapy, to help you work through these feelings and learn to trust and value yourself. Remember that you are not alone and that there are people who care and want to support you on your healing journey ❤️
@Mya000
Thank you for your kind reply Mya :) <3
You’re welcome @seashell145 😊
@seashell145
HI, Shell,
First let me say how sorry I am to hear that you were made to suffer for so long.
Second, It is an awful feeling to realize that the people you may have loved and looked up to, were mentally abusing you. Is that the way you feel?
I've gone through the same thing, but I didn't wake up to their mistreatment until I was 40. It went on for so long, that I didn't know who I was, when I finally realized what was happening. I had been trying to be something they wanted me to be.
I'm still learning who I am. It might take me the rest of my life to figure myself out. That's ok. Now I'm living on my terms.
How are you adjusting to life with your new realization? Are you still in touch with any of these people?
I threw them all out of my life except for one. I fell for her act for the last time about two years ago. I started working for her. And she continued to hurt me, but I kept my mouth shut because I needed the income. Now that I no longer work for her, I am considering telling her to never contact me again. But she is so sick and twisted that she has continued to contact me for more work. She just doesn't get how sick I feel around her. I think I might have to be direct and tell her to stay away.
I wish you the best of recoveries. That is what it is. You're recovering. Congratulations on seeing your worth and seeing them for who they really are.
I saw a quote once that said, "When you realize your worth, you'll stop giving people discounts."
Take care.
@purpleTree4652
Hello Tree! Thank you for sharing your story, it was inspiring. I still live with them and my future seems scary. Hope someday I'll be able to overcome. Saw that quote too! Take care, hope you can be peaceful and happy :) <3
@seashell145
I am inviting you to join me in the Sharing Circle chat room 😊.
@spongbobishappy
Thank you spongebob! I went there once, it's really helpful :)
I feel or felt the same way because I've always been very intuitive yet emotional so it's like a part of me KNEW it was wrong and yet I kept being gaslit or manipulated and as a powerless child could do nothing about it. It wasn't all bad either which added to the confusion. My own thoughts and feelings were like the *** cherry on the *** sundae of it all. I'm still working on processing what happened. I read and study, meditate morning and evening, journal, eat well and exercise and have a counsellor to name a few things I do to try keep from losing my damn mind and blowing my whole life up.
@Dallady
Thank you for sharing, I can relate to it not being all bad but I couldn't intuit it was wrong. I'm glad you are doing all of those self care activities like reading, journaling, meditating, exercising, eating well, seeing a counselor. You are working really hard and I am proud of you! Hope I can continue my hopeful actions too.
What is your mbti if you don't mind sharing? I got curious because you said intuitive and emotional :)
@seashell145
The last time I did an mbti was a decade ago; I don't remember. That's an interesting question and I'm almost wondering if I ought to do it again; I know that can change as we change so much, and I've been through some big changes the last few years. I know I'm apparently a triple water sign maybe which means emotional and intuitive, creative. But a professional astrologer told me that; I'm not sure what it all means.
@Dallady
I don't know much about astrology, so don't know what triple water means :) Glad you find the question interesting, let me know the result if you take another mbti test.