Being Excluded
I was with some people today, and they were joking around and yelling and teasing each other about something. Probably something dumb and inconsequential, given how they were talking. I was basically in the middle of everything. Everyone else knew what the topic was, what was going on… And no one told me what was going on. Absolutely everyone else knew. And I wasn’t allowed to know.
It’s not the first time.
I know that they’re just humoring me. They always do. I’m not actually wanted there… But I’m there, so they just kinda put up with me.
I’m used to that.
But being left out like that…
That hurts. It made me feel really insecure and I knew I wasn’t wanted.
I exist too. I’m human. I’m part of the group. Whether I’m wanted or not.
That’s not right. You don’t treat people like that…
PSA…
For anyone reading this, please don’t do this to anyone else. Even if you’re not that fond of them… Don’t purposely exclude them. It hurts when you don’t act like they exist. Especially for the teens here… Learn this lesson early. Include everyone. Whether you want them around or not, whether they fit in or not, whether they’re popular or an outcast or in between. Include them.
You never know where that person is mentally. Whether you loving them might save their life.
So welcome them. Include them. Love them.
@jesusredeemedme2425 People like that aren’t worth your time, Kiara. I’m really sorry they hurt you—you didn’t deserve that.... especially being the kind and welcoming person you are. True friends never make others feel excluded, whether in a group setting or not . And decent human beings don’t behave like that either. I admire how you processed what happened and chose to write a post that wasn’t about bashing them but about saying... ‘I exist, I’m human too,’ and reminding the rest of us to never treat anyone that way. So kudos to you, Kiara.
Love you <3
Love you too <3
@jesusredeemedme2425 This!! I 100% know how this feels, and no matter how often it happens, it still hurts the same, if not worse each time!
Especially years ago. I can think of all the times I was heavily excluded, and no amount of trying to get more involved ever actually did much in most (?) cases. I often always advocate for myself and even others who go through this nowadays, about how harmful exclusion actually is to one's being! The feeling of worthlessness or even some form of sadness you get after being excluded is something you can't ever forget, at least not that easily.
I often say, even if that person isn't talkative, at least try to include them in the whole group! Augh.. that's a pain I know all too well, a good portion of my child/teen life spent being excluded, lonely, alone... Seeing others being treated the same always gets my blood boiling. You don't deserve to get treated like that by anybody! No matter how long or short you've known them, period.
This is exactly why I make an effort to make sure everyone in groups I'm in are fully accounted for, and why I take a large amount of care to see that they're comfortable or if they're struggling to feel included, I make sure of it now. I refuse to let others go through the same thing I did...
That being said, I wish there was some program I could be a part of where an effort can be made to spread awareness of this and actively give out tips, advice, or just talk about how to cope/deal with exclusion, or at least some form of social trauma one may have.
This is your program <3 Share here! Make challenges, write posts, share your stories <3
