Can someone explain to me what happened?/Help me understand something I did
I did this weird thing. I don’t know why I did it but i’m confused and would like to know if anyone could help me figure out what happened/help me understand why I did this?
for context i’m a teen who has troubles with self harm (i dunno if that helps with this)
Today randomly at night I wore a bunch of thick clothes (t-shirts, sweaters, sweatpants, pajamas) all on top of each other. I than wrapped myself in a blanket and buried my head inside of it. It was super hot and I was sweating and super uncomfortable and I wanted to get out, but for some reason i stayed like that for a while. There was like a voice (ik it sounds cringy) that was telling me to stay a bit longer, that like I deserved the uncomfy feeling or something. It was super uncomfy and I literally drenched my sweater from the amount that I was sweating.
In this position I would occasionally press the blanket against my face and hold my breath for as long as I can. I would hold my breath until I could feel myself becoming light headed and try to suffocate myself with the blanket.
The whole time I was having a buncha negative thoughts towards myself and it lasted atleast 30 minutes long.
anyways i know that sounds super weird but yeah could anyone help me understand what happened?
@tomatocultivation
Did this idea come to you out of blue ?
it sounds like self harm the heat to possibly cause heatstroke the suffocation thing... is perhaps a cry for help. what stopped you besides being lightheaded. Was that the goal.... the lightheaded semi conscience feeling?
@toughTiger6481
it just sorta happened? Idk how to explain it
I think I was holding my breath and stuff because I was trying to pass out/become unconscious or something. I was trying to pass out or have something happen to me, but i’d back out every time I got close to actually getting hurt
sorry for replying late
@tomatocultivation sorry sweetie ❤ gives you a giant tiny hug ❤ it definetly sounds like you were self harming. But in a different way. But hey although very dangerous, it won't leave scars🤗 but please look after yourself. Have you been to the doctor about self harming?
@Tinywhisper11
hi! :)
I haven’t been to do doctor about my sh (only like 2 people know) but I do have some visible scars from past sh so i’m probably gonna get found out either way
@tomatocultivation self harm scars might leave you feeling a bit shameful and afraid to show people, cause you don't want to hurt them. So yeah it can be hard. But sweetheart, just know your not alone in this. Many many other people do it too. There's no shame and when your ready too, the doctors will be willing to help. Gives you a giant tiny hug ❤❤❤squeezes you tightly ❤