Can someone explain to me what happened?/Help me understand something I did
I did this weird thing. I don’t know why I did it but i’m confused and would like to know if anyone could help me figure out what happened/help me understand why I did this?
for context i’m a teen who has troubles with self harm (i dunno if that helps with this)
Today randomly at night I wore a bunch of thick clothes (t-shirts, sweaters, sweatpants, pajamas) all on top of each other. I than wrapped myself in a blanket and buried my head inside of it. It was super hot and I was sweating and super uncomfortable and I wanted to get out, but for some reason i stayed like that for a while. There was like a voice (ik it sounds cringy) that was telling me to stay a bit longer, that like I deserved the uncomfy feeling or something. It was super uncomfy and I literally drenched my sweater from the amount that I was sweating.
In this position I would occasionally press the blanket against my face and hold my breath for as long as I can. I would hold my breath until I could feel myself becoming light headed and try to suffocate myself with the blanket.
The whole time I was having a buncha negative thoughts towards myself and it lasted atleast 30 minutes long.
anyways i know that sounds super weird but yeah could anyone help me understand what happened?
@tomatocultivation
Did this idea come to you out of blue ?
it sounds like self harm the heat to possibly cause heatstroke the suffocation thing... is perhaps a cry for help. what stopped you besides being lightheaded. Was that the goal.... the lightheaded semi conscience feeling?
@toughTiger6481
it just sorta happened? Idk how to explain it
I think I was holding my breath and stuff because I was trying to pass out/become unconscious or something. I was trying to pass out or have something happen to me, but i’d back out every time I got close to actually getting hurt
sorry for replying late
@tomatocultivation sorry sweetie ❤ gives you a giant tiny hug ❤ it definetly sounds like you were self harming. But in a different way. But hey although very dangerous, it won't leave scars🤗 but please look after yourself. Have you been to the doctor about self harming?
@Tinywhisper11
hi! :)
I haven’t been to do doctor about my sh (only like 2 people know) but I do have some visible scars from past sh so i’m probably gonna get found out either way