Do you have a good friend you hardly talk to?
Have you ever known someone for years that you consider a "good friend" or "close relative", but then when you do talk...you hardly say anything?
I kind of had this epiphany really when it comes to my favourite uncle and some other friends...we only exchange pleasantries and not to be rude or anything, but I kind of wonder if there's any point in talking to them if there's hardly any conversation anymore?...
Or is it fine to just drop the connection entirely...?
I'm the type of person that enjoys lengthy convos or even just funny short convos are cool too but the "hello, how are you?" type of conversations kill me.
There's one person where we just drop short snippets of jokes at each other once on a while, and that's fine. I kinda don't mind sending memes back in forth or sh*t-talking out of boredom. I also don't get that annoyed with short texts, since I know this person is talkative in person, they just suck at texting.... Then there's another where it seems like we're writing novels back and forth to one another and it takes a day to respond(I usually respond at the end of the day and they respond at the beginning of theirs). It just varies.
Idk, I've tried different methods to get uncle to open up and react to anything I say, but he hardly talks, might chuckle at a few memes occasionally, but I don't want to spam him with that either... I get that he's busy too with his own business.
Maybe I'm just overthinking things and should keep talking, even if it is a "how are you?" Type of Convo...
Thoughts?
Hey @ImpudentIncognito!
That's an interesting situation, thanks for writing about it and updating us on your situation. Regarding your type of relationships/friendships and how you like more involved conversations from people like your uncle, I'm totally in your category: I want conversations in depth where we can share meaningful details/stories about each other and get to know each other that way. So I understand and share in your frustrations! That being said I've had a fair share of friends/people that are different. They're usually more reserved and find that the best conversations are had when little is said, and genuinely so! Some of my friends find value in "good silence" where meaningful time can be shared when there's little to none talking. Which of course I don't get, but it's from their perspective! Regarding maintaining those kinds of relationship really depends on you. Do you find value when spending time with them even when you have difficulty in the conversations? Or do you think their inability to have those kinds of conversations hinders you from having a meaningful relationship? I personally came to realize, with hanging out with those friends that there is value in extra-conversational things such as vibes, shared interests, etc etc.
@ImpudentIncognito
Hey! How're you doing?
Honestly, I feel you. I have a friend who I haven't seen in years because of COVID and the traveling needed to see them. We were inseparable when we were hangout together, but now we hardly talk, just a daily snap to keep the streak together. If they're bad at texting, call them every once in a while just to check in with them and just share your day with them. It may be hard for your uncle, maybe, he's no so familiar with technology and like, replying to texts in general, but you should really keep in touch!
That's my advice!!
I can't help feeling guilty of this type of conversation for years. I can relate because I was that family member. I was shy and quiet or dared not to say a word in certain family company. I couldn't speak up and when I did talk it was low hushed and everyone I talked to said to speak up I can't hear you. So I just never said more than five words to get them to go away.