Family Toxic People who disrespect ur ownership or boundaries.
I have a toxic family member ( older ) who use my stuff without asking me. Today they even told me “ I have been using it quite some time how come u only discover it now? ”, what is the best way to deal with this? Is it good to respond to their narcissistic words( like “like what if I don’t discover u will never tell me?”)or just ignore and make myself clear? I have already told them many times to ask me before using my stuff thing, they never listen.
Please share what u think. Moving out is happening very soon likely.
It's really stressful when we try to be assertive and it's just not respected. Sometimes I think family members especially take glee in provoking and I typically want peace so rarely engage.
What I did was hid my valuables and a lock was bought for my door, it's a bit extreme but steps had to be taken.
I just hate repeating myself also. I hope that when you move out, you'll finally get the peace you deserve :)
@niceKitten2066
Hopefully you found a resolution. Can you tell us what the thing this person was using is ?
@niceKitten2066
In a dispute involving YOUR wishes about YOUR belongings, I don't believe there needs to be any explanation or debate.
It is YOUR personal item. YOU have a desire about how that item is to be treated. Therefore, your wish should be respected. There's really nowhere to go after that. Any additional conversation is just an unnecessarily long and twisty scenic route to "no, I won't respect your wishes about your belongings."
The answer to "why do you care now" is "I am telling you right now that I don't want you to do this, so will you please respect my wish?" Calmly rinse and repeat no matter how many times the other person asks additional questions or changes the subject or goes on a "what about this, what about that" tangent.
It doesn't matter why or when you ask someone to respect you and your personal belongings. What matters is you're asking now and you should be respected. If the shoe was on the other foot, that family member's wishes for their things should be honored, too.
@niceKitten2066
You may try this way: keep all the precious/necessary stuffs which belong to you in your room, and remember lock the door when you go out. It will prevent your stuffs from being used without your permission.
Annoy the annoyer back.
