Feeling ashamed of myself
I shared with someone that I feel isolated, I got heartbroken many times, and someone told me other people aren't supposed to take care of my needs. And after that I can't seek support at all, have gotten really lonely.
I shared this with someone a few days ago. She said I had to change my thoughts.
Now I feel so ashamed of myself, I can't stop feeling afraid of that person. Changing my thoughts could change my life but I have such obsessive thoughts and no one to listen to me. I thought this person was different, she was on the softer side. But she has even more stronger opinion than the other seemingly hard shelled people. I feel ashamed of myself that is all. I can't stop feeling afraid.
I know this is my obsession. If I spend the day meditating and doing my regular exercises, then at the end of the day I feel less obsessed. But right now I'm in the middle of my wake time and feeling really ashamed. People seem to have a lot of opinion but not much support. I feel so ashamed of myself.
@seashell145
I’m very sorry you were met with such an unsupportive response. <3
I get how that would make you upset. It’s not your fault your experiencing all these emotions and your feelings are very much valid! I hope you can surround yourself with supportive and empathetic people. I am proud of you for getting in your regular exercises and meditation in!💜
@innateJoy9602
Thank you Joy, that was a really kind response. It means a lot to me. Take care :) <3
@seashell145
Hi. I am very new here and yours was the first post I read. I’m so sorry you aren’t feeling supported. I feel like I should leave you a message to let you know you aren’t alone. I have been going through the same thing lately. I am heartbroken that the people who claim to love me can’t even support me with words no matter actions. I too need a listening ear and a sounding board, some one who will communicate back to me, instead of shutting down, shutting me out and ignoring me. This feeling has come on because it seems I have no one left to turn to. Instead of feeling ashamed of myself I keep wondering what’s wrong with me? My emotions go way over the top. I have come to realize they do that because I don’t feel heard. It is OKAY to seek help. Please please know you’re not alone and the only thing wrong is that you have found hard hearted people who think they are doing good. And no, no one person can fully support the needs of another. It’s a balancing act. We all should let someone lean on us at some point. And it’s okay to be the person leaning!!! I’m hoping this site brings me people who listen with an open heart and can give some sort of advice or encouragement. I hope this site brings you that as well. I have to try and stick with it, come back and check messages and learn to distance myself from the people who just shut down when I need someone. I hope this message brings you some peace.
@Faunaphiliac
Wow, this message contains so many information that I have been seeking. Like, "It's a balancing act". I couldn't put this into words. I too believe this, we have to meet each other halfway instead of just giving all our burdens to someone else.
I haven't yet been a complete support to anyone else, this is what is still a mystery to me. How to be available for others. I do support people online once or twice but haven't maintained a relationship where people could lean on me. So I guess either I have to find a relationship where I can lean on the other, learn how they let others lean on them and then I'll let others lean on me. Or maybe I will learn the mystery of being available to other people, so I will know how to lean on others too without hurting them but also getting support.
Your comment was really helpful for me. It's true, because no one listens to me my emotions get even more intense and hard to manage. Thank you for this beautifully written and informed comment, it brought me peace. Hope you find people to share with, and get some support. Sending you lots of love dear friend <3
@seashell145
Thank you for writing back!! And I’m so happy you heard my heart. If I can figure out how to use this and get back to messages I’d like to talk more!
