Feeling embarrassed that I have no teenage milestones.
I feel embarrassed that I'm graduating high school in a few weeks, turning 19 in October and never had a boyfriend/girlfriend, never been someone's Valentine, never had my first kiss, never had a friend group, never been invited to a party, never been to a sleepover, etc. Everyone else either had friends whenever the group was big, small or just 2-3 people, had many things to gossip about, hung out after school, went to parties, hung out on the weekends, talked to each other at lunch, had sleepovers, etc. The people in relationships were all lovey dovey in school, went on dates, etc while I was sitting alone 24/7 and wasting away being in the house all day and when I went out it was mostly with my mom or dad, it's like everyone knew I was out with my parents. It feels like everyone also knew I didn't have friends and avoided me. The people who did talk to me was because they had to 𥲠not because they wanted to.
My high school was one big social setting (every single high school is tbh) but I had no friends to socialize with. I was just wasting away while listening to kpop, scrolling through Twitter, watching YouTubes and tiktoks, doing work, etc. I feel like people lie when they say most people don't get into friendships or relationships in high school just to make people like me feel better because they know that we feel lonely and have no other way of offering advice. Even if it's true that most people don't date in high school, they still have friends to hang out with in and outside of school, so that doesn't make me feel better in any way. College probably ain't gonna be better so I think I'm stuck in the lone wolf zone. I go to a black Latino school and my dad said that the guys probably don't approach me cause they see me as a challenge but really I think it's because the boys problem prefer thin girls or girls who wear those long wigs and long nails. I'm more on the curvy side and I look stocky so that's already a huge no. Plus, the girls all have a certain look with their face shapes and I don't have that face shape so that's a double no (it's mainly the black girls with this type of look that get the boys). The only girls with no wigs, no long nails, no lashes that I see boys go for are the Latinas (I keep seeing this couple of a tall black boy with dreads and a short thin latina) since I already know that black guys love Latinas. One time a guy asked another guy if he prefers curvy girls or skinny girls and he said skinny girls (he was a chubby kid with glasses) and that made me feel even worse about myself.
Two guys also called me ugly before so I tried to take my glasses off and do my hair (I have 3c hair) but nothing changed, they still called me ugly. I tried to put myself out there and be part of large friend groups or just sit at tables with a bunch of people but there was always someone that asked me to sit somewhere else (usually somewhere alone). It feels like no matter what I do, no matter how hard I try, I'll never be as good or as pretty as the other girls around me. I'll always stick out in a bad way, and I'll never be truly accepted by others.
@Yurnuthere
Hi! I'm Kiara <3
I didn't have my first bf til I was in my early 20s, so I understand the shame and frustration.
I would absolutely be your friend if I were there <3 Can I be your friend here? <3
@jesusredeemedme2425
This may sound stupid, but what does <3 mean?
And also let me be in your friend group too if possible
It’s a heart. Look at it sideways hehe
Absolutely! <3
Hey Soul, don't feel like that ? U know what Dear, Everyone's have something not perfect in the way thinking in their lives, there must be something they missing, As a teenager, if u think that making bf or having date, or if not having friends for gossips, or having outside parties, is all that must have in teenage? it's wrong. No, why u feel bad abt that , there's nothing bad or imperfect in this, there's alot of Girls and even boys are stayed away from these stuff in life, some by restrictions of family, some by choice. If u see positive being alone in this way , there's alot of good thing u have , and they don't have?
Like: depression people in relationships having more depression in early ages thn people with Staying single teen, and that's good u are reserving urself for ur life partner, and having a great and wonderful life coming ahead in future, in shaa Allah.
U know why you think , and worried abt , how i look? Why u need to be change for someone they don't deserve ur attention?
U don't have too, u have ur own values, ur own respect of being a person, ur own charm, ur own style. U have to make ur mind that u have to make urself happy , not others ?
Who are they? Will they come in ur hard times to support u?
Were they ever even helped?
Who are they? You wana change urself for them ?
I know this feeling comes, but.. dear u have to understand that, U have alot Good things to be grateful on.
Yet im into my 30s, but U know i spent my life being single, i never had friends for real life, neither any relationship, that's honestly is a great gateway of peace . Trust me relationship is good but for right time of age, when u really able to get married.
Before this having affairs, it's only put stress in life. Like we stuck in something for no reason in the end. Breakup hurts more.
And when i was teenager, i putted on weight, my relatives keep mocking me, like oh who will mary u? So that time i worried and I started dieting and drink plenty of warm hot water, so reduce my fat, but after some week when finally i became slim, they even called me U burnt ur skin color. Ohh who will marry u?
Lol seriously, that day i realized,
Why i am trying to please people?
They will never be happy.
Since that day , I only focused on myself, mine happiness, mine peace of mind and heart. Trust me that's so precious feeling i get.
And i want u too to get u this. And don't feel bad for the things that don't concern ur attention.
Be happy what u have, and they don't.
Like A pearl in a shell ❤️💐
Safe and secure from dust of this world.
Girl, honestly you are so not alone! I felt the exact same way in highschool. I didn't date until my 20's. I was so jealous of all the girls in big friend groups, and I ate the majority of my lunches in this one hidden stairway.
But I promise you, and I'm sure people have said it before, it DOES get better. Highschool blows. My life got so much better after highschool and once I ran into some of the "popular" kids from high school ten years later...and all they talked about was that high school was the best days of their lives. Yikes.
You will get through this and you'll find your people one day. You really will.
Just keep being yourself and who cares about all the fake skinny girls. that stuff matters less and less as you group up.
You got this.
@yurnuthere sending lots of love ur way!✨🤍
First, thank you for sharing your feelings so openly. What you’re experiencing is real, and it takes a lot of courage to put it into words. You’re not alone in feeling this way, even though it might seem like it right now. Let’s talk about what you’re going through, and I’ll offer some perspective, reassurance, and practical steps for moving forward.
1. Your Feelings Are Valid
It’s completely normal to feel left out or behind when it seems like everyone else is having experiences you wish you had. High school can feel like a giant social stage, and it’s easy to compare your journey to others. But the truth is, a lot of people—more than you think—feel isolated, awkward, or “different” during these years, even if they don’t show it.
2. You Are Not Defined By High School
High school is just one chapter in your life, not the whole story. The people who seem to have it all together now might face their own struggles later. Life after graduation is full of new opportunities, new people, and new experiences. Many people find their real friends, confidence, and even first relationships after high school.
3. Comparison Is a Trap
Social media and school gossip make it seem like everyone else is living a perfect life. But the reality is, most people are dealing with insecurities and challenges you never see. Comparing yourself to others—especially based on looks, popularity, or relationships—will only make you feel worse. Your worth isn’t measured by how many parties you’ve been to or who’s asked you out.
4. Beauty and Acceptance Are Not One-Size-Fits-All
You mentioned feeling like you don’t fit the “look” that’s popular at your school. Beauty standards are narrow and ever-changing, and they’re often shaped by trends, media, and peer pressure. What’s considered “in” now will be different in a few years. There are people out there who will appreciate you for exactly who you are—your personality, your style, your interests, your unique beauty.
5. Friendships and Relationships Take Time
It’s totally okay not to have had a relationship, a first kiss, or a big friend group by the time you graduate high school. Many people don’t have these experiences until college or even later. There’s no deadline for these milestones, and they’re not a measure of your value or likability.
6. Practical Steps Forward
Here are some things you can try as you move into this new chapter:
A. Focus on Your Passions
Keep enjoying the things you love—music, social media, creative hobbies. These interests can help you connect with like-minded people in the future.
B. Try New Social Settings
College, work, or community activities are all places where you can meet people outside the high school bubble. Clubs, volunteering, or online communities can be less intimidating ways to make connections.
C. Work on Self-Compassion
Be as kind to yourself as you would to a friend in your situation. It’s okay to feel sad or frustrated, but try to treat yourself with patience and understanding.
7. You Are Enough—Right Now
You don’t need to change your appearance or personality to be worthy of friendship, love, or acceptance. The right people will see your value, and those connections often come when you least expect them.
Final Thought
You’re about to enter a new phase of life, and things can change in ways you can’t imagine yet. The pain you feel now doesn’t have to define your future. You matter, you’re worthy, and you have so much ahead of you. If you ever want to talk more, vent, or get advice, I’m here for you.
You’re not alone, and things can get better. Hang in there. 💛
You are like me but 1 year younger. We exist
Hey friend,
my name is Shawn.
I’m 24 and I am from central asia but i live in america and J was in school growing up, had little friends. I did have one good friend throughout my life but not a quality friend when think back… I say that to say that I did at least have a person to hang she’s sometimes. and do stufff with. i didn’t get invited to many parties either, the ones i did go to were very small, you couldn’t call them parties. but it was an experience I was thrilled to be a part of even if i felt like i didn’t fit in. I was bullied as a kid for being asian and overall just me. i have very bad depression and anxiety because of it but these days im managing my mental health. I’ve learned a lot, and i have little friends to this day still but i find it’s easier to make friends than it ever was in school. i had a lot of emotions back then. they ran high. it was stressful time in life too. makes sense. but it’s calmed down since and I’m learning about myself and learning to actually love who i am for who i am and tbh the amount of time spent alone has given me some clarity about myself. and what i want. from people and otherwise, so it makes relationships easier these days. and being myself easier these days. so it really sucks to feel alone, I’m in that boat with ya but i say all this to say that, even if you feel like an outcast, you wil find your people . you do have to work on figuring out who you are too. But you will find your people or they will find you. but you gotta keep moving. living. learning. being. I promise you you are way more than worth being loved by someone else. Someone is gonna meet you and you will have the sickest friendship, or relationship. Your personality , who you are, you are bound to vibe with someone. trust me.
and this comes from a progressional self hater.
I love you whoever you are. just keep going for the universe. 💫
@Yurnuthere
Hey there my love, first of all it's really brave to come here and share your story with the rest of us. There is this saying everyone has a different path, some paths may be curvier then the others but at the of the path there is always gonna be a river. The absolute first thing you need to do is not comparing yourself, who know what the other girls go through, everyone has their own candle but comparing your own candle to someone else there candle will not make yours bigger. There was this time where I was insecure aswell and only cared what other people thought of me. Each day I just kept being sadder and sadder. But there was a certain time where I just deleted all of my socials (big reason why I was insecure) and I just things that I loved doing, not for anyone else but for me, it might be scary at first but I realized at the end of the day the most beautiful quote I hear ''you dont own anyone beauty''. If everyone would be Latina, then there would be no uniqueness anymore, being different is our power it is our strength as women that we look different but we still got our own aura and energy. Most men like it when women fight about them it makes them feel special, if someone calls you ugly, let them they're miserable and probably insecure as ***. Because a confident person doesn't even have time to look at other people rather then themselves. And my girl the only compitetion you have right now is yourself. If you don't like something about your self my love, change it. It does not mean when you finally changed that you will be pretyy, no no the before and the after is gorgeous. Just the way you carry your words is already beautiful enough my dear. ''You dont own anyone beauty''. People are not paying you to fit the standard, beauty is subjective some people look at me and tell me I'm the most gorgeous woman ever and some look at me and tell me I'm the most ugly creature ever, and I am fine with that because that's their opinion, is there opinion true no, only thing that matters is you love and what image you trying to create for yourself. Don't ever feel insecure you're a beautiful being inside and out. Much lovee💖
