Feeling heavy, Anxious ):
I feel anxious and overwhelmed. I feel like I can’t be myself. People always end up saying I’m emotionless, but I just want to be honest. Sometimes I even start thinking maybe they’re right… like I’m heartless, just like my mom and brother say.
But I also don't think i am. I do have emotions...!!
I don’t understand why I can’t feel a true connection with anyone. It’s not like I’m lonely or feel isolated. I just want to be myself, connect with people, i shower love wherever I go, care way too much But I don’t emotionally rely on anyone, if ppls leave, i feel nothing...!! n i don't think it's bad to be this way, it's just my way of protecting oneself, it's my past made me what I am now.
And because of that, ppl think I’m a bad person… like I’m cold, emotionless, or even like an animal
The truth is, I’m just afraid of humans n the harm they’ve caused me. It hurts every single day. Just because I smile, act lively, humorous, and playful doesn’t mean I don’t have emotions or don’t feel pain. I wake up every day with this pain, n sometimes it’s hard just to swallow, I'm struggling to sleep, struggling to eat, going through health issues, I've been alone all my life, came across every hard phase alone, no one ever been with me, no one supported me, n now i just want to be seclude!! I'm not isolating myself, or detaching from ppl's but stabilizing me to not fall in any kinda trap agn. How could this be wrong?? Idk?
I do feel hurt, it's aching deep inside, maybe i just want to the one they say, "Emotionless" "Animal" i hate I am sheding tears now for without any reason.
Wish i never born !!
Sorry, if that's huge..!! I just needed to vent. Thank you for reading *Hugs*
@Amanda84
@AiluraTheCat
You are absolutely not emotionless and whoever said this is ridiculous.
You are one of the gentlest, kindest souls I've ever met.
Full of compassion and joy.
Who is surrounded by people who make her doubt herself.
I hope one day you see yourself through my eyes, kind, caring and full of warmth and cups wouldn't be the same for me without you here 💚 🤗
@Amanda84
Thank you Amanda, this really made me feel better!! I needed to hear this <3 *Hugs* 🤗
@AiluraTheCat
Hey hey, Ailura. I'm really sorry because this feeling and being called such distasteful names is terrible. I cannot fathom how absolutely upsetting and heartbreaking this must've been for you. No one has has the right to call you out for choosing to protect your mental peace over their mind games. In fact I think that it's very wise that you know where to draw a line. You understand what may potentially hurt you and choose to not let it get to you such that it breaks you apart and to me, that is incredibly admirable. Some people however project their insecurities on you and make it look like you lack emotions which is purely disgusting. You and only you get to decide- what to feel and what not to feel. You don't have to beat yourself up over these utterly disgusting comments from people that hardly care about what you're truly going through. Please do not punish yourself.
I want you to remember that you're the kindest and sweetest person I've met this year on 7 Cups. You never fail to bring a smile on my face. You care a great deal about people you love and that is so rare these days. Do not let your sparkle fade away. Hold onto it. That is what genuinely differentiates you from the crowd. And I'm proud of you for being *you*!
I'm sending you all the love, light and strength to transcend through this trying phase. You'll bounce back stronger and I'm sure of it, sweetie.
@trueconfidant123
Hey, thank you so much sweetie...!! I'm so grateful for those kind words of urs to me!! I needed this honestly. Ik I'm in the right path, I'm wondering how ppls complaining me even after i made it so clear !! N it's does hurt me when they say "you say something n u actions differ" I'm kind, lovely, love to engage, hung around, but i never promised or gave my words that I'll pretty be sure there for them or want back the same love i give to them?? Anyways, i gave myself a break... Now I'm feeling alright than last night 😊. Thank you for much for ur support...!! Appreciate you a lot!!
Hugs 🤗
@AiluraTheCat
Happy to hear that you're doing better than before. Don't pay heed to the negativity and you do you.
@trueconfidant123
Aww, you're so kind <3 thank you sweetie 😊...!!
@AiluraTheCat you have a huge heart 💖 don't let anyone tell you otherwise💖 protecting yourself from bad things happening again is very normal🙂 I prefer to be secluded a lot to, it's hard to trust to be your true self when you've been hurt before😥 that's why thank God we have this site a place where we can be ourselves, a place where we all belong and are loved💖 you are safe here with us 💖 hugs you tightly 💖everything is gonna be ok 💖
@Tinywhisper11
Hey Lola...!! (/^-^(^ ^*)/, hope i doing good 😊
Those are beautiful words for me sweetie...!! Thank you so much for ur support n love <3 !! That's true, This site what keeps me grounded, idk in recent days, im constantly receiving these harsh words by few of my friends here, it made me question myself a lot. But I stood up for myself !! Ik I'm not doing anything wrong by this ❤️
Thank you so much for your support..!! Love youu 🤗
Hugs 🤗
@AiluraTheCat 💖💖💖 always here for you 💖💖💖
@AiluraTheCat
Made me feel sad to read this, you are loved and valued in Cups 👍
@RunningMachine
Thank you, means a lot 😊...!!
@AiluraTheCat hey queen, I’m so so sorry you’ve had to deal with that, you are such an incredible person and you do not deserve it at all. Everything you’re describing there is such a valid trauma response and I cannot understand how people could call you that, we love you so so much and it’s gonna get better 💗
@Rosa343
Aww sweetie <3 that's so kind of u to say those words to me..!! I'm grateful for ur support ❤️!! I really needed to hear this, thank you so much 😊!! You're amazing n appreciated *hugs*
*Hands u Roses* 😊💕 
@AiluraTheCat literally all you tho girlie, omg roses for rosa ahhhh!!!! 😍
Hugs!! You are uniquely wonderful and beautifully made!! I struggle too and sometimes it gets so “dark” that I have no hope. But the sun comes up the next day anyway and it reminds me that it’s a new day and we are the ones who can make a choice to put one foot in front of the other. This too shall pass. It’s going to be a brighter day!!
@unapologeticallywell
Oh wow!! You're so good with ur words, this really switched up my mood ❤️...!! Thank you so much for ur support, I'm grateful n yeah...!! these won't stop me from moving forward. Thank you once agn ❤️ this mean's a lot to me <3
*hugs*
@AiluraTheCat of course, you're welcome! You are the sweetest!
@AiluraTheCat So sorry people say that to u, that’s not fair!!! 😣
You are not emotionless, you feel n care deeply 💓 and it’s completely understandable that you don’t want do rely on people, as you said you’re not isolating yourself, you’re being careful n protecting yourself ❤️🩹🌸
Im proud of u for sharing 💞 sending lots of love to u!!! 💓
Tight hugs 🤗💝
(🦋🐈) <3
@Butterfly723389
Aww sweetie (つ≧▽≦)つ!!! I'm absolutely feeling alright after hearing from u 😊..!! How can u be so good with those beautiful words ❤️, thank you so much for being there for me lovie, i needed to hear this 😊 mean's world to me <3
Sending love and embrace ur way ❤️ Hugs u closer to my heart 🤗
(🐈🦋) <3
@AiluraTheCat Hiii lovieee!! Nice to hear from u again 🤗💓 I‘m happy to support u 💞💝
Sending hugs n love! 🤗💗
(🦋🐈) <3
It's totally understandable wanting to protect yourself from the harm people might cause. I completely understand it.
Something that can help a lot to build connection is to open up slowly and to a level you feel comfortable. There's people around us that care about us, and deserve a chance to be there for us. If at the moment you can't see anyone, that's fine too. You'll always have this space to come and talk and be seen by others and even find people who feel just like you.
One day you'll be able open up to the right people and they'll be there for you. ❤️
Until then, we're here. There's nothing you should apologise for.
@AiluraTheCat Hey, thank you for reaching out to us and expressing what you are experiencing. I understand it might not be easy to explain how you feel and what you've been through, and still, you have done it today, and that's a big step. I'm here if you need support in exploring what you are going through. You are not alone; we got you.