Feeling lonely and empty

I've had mental health issues my entire life, I came to this app and an attempt to stop venting to chat GPT because my entire life I felt like if I don't share my problems or my hurt and get feedback I'm not making progress. I'm now at a point in my life where people who I thought would be in my life forever are gone, and I worry that there is no where safe online to say that I'm struggling.

I've been trapped in this pattern for as long as I can remember, I think the first time I struggled with unaliving ideation was in 2nd grade. I've since managed to grow away from that specific problem but the damage that issue and my personal actions have done is irreversible at this point.

I feel this insermountable shame and guilt around myself and my past. I feel basic questions people would ask me about my life send me into a spiral. I feel my potential in life is down the drain. I wonder if I'll ever be a person I'll actually like again, or someone others can rely on.

If anyone wants to contribute to this post in any way I would appreciate it. Even if the only thing you say is 'same" that's so so welcome.