Forbidden Love 🥲
Hey guys,
it’s been a while since I been on here but I have yet another story to tell and as always need your advice on what I should do. This might be a long one…
So I recently realized that I could be developing feelings for this guy that dated my cousin (on dad’s side) years ago and he now works for my dad. Our families were already close without my cousin having to date him because his family is close with my moms side already ok so… why am I low key developing feelings for this guy 🫢
He’s been working for my dad for about 4 years now and I’ve always known he was around but nothing that had to do with him interested me. Until… there was this party for one of my aunts. The whole community was there and a lot of the young ppl were outside taking pictures. I was talking to 2 of my friends when the guy asked my friend to take pictures of him okay cool… I was watching and I noticed my friend wasn’t taking the pictures right like it was already late a night so he needed the flash on and at least tell him how to pose and I was like let me do it because your not doing it right. So I took to picture and we went in our separate ways cool and then like 10 mins later he comes back and was like I liked this picture but I was looking down so could you redo this one for me and I was okay and then did. End of that day.
Why did a few days later I had a dream about him? I don’t want to go into too much detail but it involved so romance and I was like omg already like I barely know this guy and mind you he’s in his early 30’s and I’m about to turn 20. It’s already not looking good for me.
Fast Forward I would say 2-3 weeks later, he comes to my dads business bc he does work for him so I’m going to see him often but that day felt so different like I couldn’t even make eye contact. MY HEART WAS BEATING SO FAST. I managed to say hi and went my separate way.
Why did I have another dream about him again like 3 days ago but this time, we were a couple and you know we did things that couples would do and it was so cool. I’ve never been in a relationship so it could be why I’m exaggerating over this but why am I all of sudden feeling things I shouldn’t feel for my cousins ex. And it’s not like he has a been reputation in the community anyway like you know the typical bad boy that sleeps around that guy. But here I am, still a teenager feeling things for this guy.
So i guess my question is what should I do? I mostly likely am not going to tell him ever but what if my feelings continue to grow and I can’t hold it in anymore? What if I confess and now i look like a clown and he just thinks I’m some little girl with a crush that will fade? I actually hate that I feel this way and all but at the same time I can’t help how i feel. Bc why do I low key go to my dad’s business just so I can seen him 🫢? I have to stop myself from daydreaming sometimes
I always feel better ranting on here about situations that I can’t speak about with my family bc I don’t think I could utter a word of this to my family without being potentially shamed or disowned 😕
@OhemaaAfia Hi! Nice to meet you. I'm Mel <3 Thank you so much for opening up and sharing this with us. It sounds like you’re navigating some really complex emotions right now, and it’s completely understandable to feel overwhelmed by this situation. It’s really important to acknowledge how confusing and intense these feelings can be, especially given the dynamics involved.
It sounds like you’re grappling with some strong feelings for someone you didn’t expect to develop feelings for. It’s completely valid to be unsure and conflicted about these emotions, especially given the history and age difference you mentioned. It must be challenging to sort through these feelings on your own, especially when you can’t openly discuss them with your family.
How do you feel when you think about the possibility of these feelings continuing to grow? Are there specific aspects of your interactions with him that you think are influencing your emotions? We're here to support you!
Hello! I just wanted to first say thank you for replying to my note. I was getting worried people were thinking I was crazy for even writing this! I appreciate you taking your time to give me advice.
When I think about my feelings growing towards him I feel uneasy because all I can think about is knowing how wrong it is. Interacting with him could be the key factor in influencing my emotions but I’ve always know who he was for many years so I really don’t know why know i suddenly feel something.
Since writing the original note, I can say my feelings have started to slowly die down which is a good thing because I honestly am a person that doesn’t like to deal with conflict and knowing that their is a possibility this could go away can take me away from conflict. At the time I was scared because I didn’t know if my feelings would pass and I did from time to time think about him but there’s nothing I can really do. I will continue to treat him like how it’s always been and move on.
Hello OhemaaAfia,
It takes alot to open up and it's good you're processing those emotions in a healthy way.
I am not in your shoes but I can try giving you a perspective as a guy. I had experience of teaching young nursing students (mostly young girls in their early and mid 20s ) while I had just finished my medical school and started internship. As a guy, I didn't have a very high self esteem and I was working through my own problems but then on number of occasions, I was approached by nursing students who were complimenting me alot and also tried to approach me. Of course, as their teacher, I turned them down gracefully but it taught me something important in our growth as a human being. The "teenager" me would have loved all that attention but now the "adult" me didn't feel so that way.
When I was in my teens and early 20s, I used to develop crushes on my senior teachers. It's something natural and innocent. Most of us go through it and eventually outgrow it.
With time, your priorities will change and how you look at people will change too. So give your mind a benefit of doubt and allow it time to process these feelings in a healthy way. Find your own definition of "romance" and "love" in this world.
Enjoy the journey!
Don't forget to take deep breaths and drink plenty of water on the way.