Hii...
Soo i've been strugling with long term listener support
90% of all listeners skip me or leave in the middle of the chat, while those other good listeners that I've met are leaving for breaks (which i'm not against, btw it's just that it's making me be alone)
How does that make me feel?
I've been through a lot, even my bio has a TW, so i'm not expecting everyone to show me support, but after trying to find someone for the long term, it's starting to feel terrible after A TON of rejections and airs, I'm human too.
what kind of a listener would i prefer?
okay, don't say that i'm picky, it's just that i REALLY NEED human connection, not some robot like listener, but one who actually cares. ik it's very rare to find, bc i found it in only 2 people here, but still i refuse to stop. i also like listeners who have their own storiesbecause it makes me feel less alone in my problems, and the quote "you're not alone" actually makes sense if you had proof infront of you, which with those listeners i would have proof infront of me!
idk will i ever find support here for the long term, because my situations being worse day by day and people who have been showing up are leaving when it's REALLY critical
Hey 👋 if you want someone to listen to you I am there to listen
@tealFarm7670
i'm sorry but you're not a listener :*(
@LuckyBlast1 Seems like we all know this problem too well. I'm sorry you're having trouble finding a teen listener. That's really the hard part! I've just turned 18 recently, and there's definitely a difference between the sides and availability. Something I've heard a few people benefit from is going to the "Browse Listeners" page and searching only for ATLs. A lot of times they are more experienced or prone to sticking around, and you can specifically request one that looks promising.
@VioletNotes
honnestly, i don't think ATLs would be good, since they mostly would look at me for their quota and that's it (atleast that's how i feel as of now) so i stopped reaching out to them because of that feeling, but that's for the suggestion!
Hey, I would love to be your friend ð§¡
we sadly can't talk yet :(
I'm sorry thats happening, if you need to talk I'll help
we can't, and i don't want to be talking in forums because anyone can read them
@LuckyBlast1 you're a cutie and I feel you. Hope you find someone soon <3
@Manhur
idk if i will or not, i'm doing my total best along with a good friend of mine who's helping me a lot. i might also switch platforms bc 7 cups ain't giving the help i'd need and it's making me feel more of dissapointed in myself
@LuckyBlast1 I'm a little miffed at some of the replies. I started on this site as a Listener. First of all, it's not a "job," as I saw it called in this thread. No one is paid. It's people volunteering their time, so show a little respect. It can be exhausting to keep up with one person's life, when you're also here to help others, and may not have a lot of time to devote to this. You might want a friend, but Listeners are here to listen, not make online friends.
If you really need support, there are professional therapists. How can you expect a random person who's offering up a little of their time to "heal you?" This is not realistic, and you need to do your own work to heal, anyway.
Just wanted to share, because while I came to this thread out of empathy for the OP, I'm already becoming turned off by the comments only half way down the first page. No one seems to be making posts to thank the Listeners for volunteering their time to a noble cause, but then you see these from time to time, where people just complain they aren't doing enough. Maybe YOU'RE not doing enough, if you're putting so much on an anonymous online volunteer.
I say this as someone that suffers a fair amount, and know how important it can be to have someone to simply be available for us. I know it. But you need to be realistic and fair, here. I mean, Jesus, it's like if you went to Habitat for Humanity and started complaining the free house they're building you doesn't look the way you wanted, and that all those people who came from around the country just to work for no pay to help are just "bad at their jobs." I mean, it's like spitting in the face of charity. So, please be considerate. Listeners are ALSO human.
@enlguy
okay, it's true that it's not a job, who called it a job in the firstplace? i'd really wanna see that.
also for what do people sign up for when they're signing up to be a listener? are they trying to make you feel better or are they here just to make you more mad? tell me which is which, and i'll be happy to respond back
when you became a listener, what was the main pourpose of it? was it to just go "dang these lifes are tough, well, i'm doing charity work by just doing nothing!!!" or was it to understand another human being and give them a place where they can feel seen and understood?
those are two different lines, and obviously people will have their own different needs of being seen and understood, i know it's not easy to be a listener, but it's also not easy to reach out for help. i was always respectful to every listener i'd reach out to.
Also when did i not do my own work to heal? ask any listener who has been here with me for a long time did i do any bits of my own work to heal, and you'll get an answer that'll probably be "yes"
Okay, again i'm literally doing everything i can to find support, i'm almost on every discoard community for self help, i'm on here, forums and 1 on 1 chats constantly looking for support, and yet all i could get would be more anger and more frustrating by an app that PROMISES to give you help by TRAINED listeners
Okay if i need to be realistic, tell me is it okay for someone to ask out 5 people per day for the last 4 months looking for support from them and get maybe a few good replies? tell me if that's realistic (because it is, it happened), but how is that coming from "listeners who volonteered to help" did they volonteer to just sit there or to help out? cuz i have reached out to many people on this app and i didn't get a response from the majority, tell me is that "volonteering to give out help" or is that "volonteering to just sit there and not do anything"
i hope you see my point, i say this with all due respect to every listener here, but you're the one who should be helping out, and then us members will be opening up more thus creating a fully understanding and flurishing space for everyone to thrive
cuz you gotta understand that we're humans and that you can't be ignoring someone who has been reaching out for months and months on end just trying to get a little bit of support from listeners that "are volonteers to help you out"
also tell me, what would that charity look like (that you've mentioned) if it was like listeners here? would it be full of work and always building, or would it never do anything?
with all due respect, currently it's not doing much and i'm doing my best to make it a tad faster by also going on other websites too
so i did spit in their faces, but rightfully so because they promised me a house and they never did anything after the promise and 4 months of waiting
listeners are humans, i totally get it, but members are humans too and so we should all treat one another with respect, and if my message was innapropriate in any way, tell me so that i can improve (cuz i'm a 15 year old)
@LuckyBlast1 given how specific you are in your bio about what you want from a listener, I'd be willing to bet that's partly why you've gotten less responses than you think you should. Even in your responses on this thread you've added more critera. I completely understand looking for the right connection, but it seems hypocritical to claim that the listeners aren't doing their 'work' just because they feel they won't be what you need, or even don't have time. I get that you're a minor and lack options but blasting people on here doesn't really help anyone. It's the same as making friends in real life, not everyone is going to be compatible and you have to wade through until you find the right person/people.
@Lythande
i mean yea, that's true! and i compleatly understand it, i was just thinking that it's super low yk? i do have really high standards that's for sure, but that's thanks to my past experiances which i can't change. i can only accept them and find a solution that works
for now tho i still am in the process of searching for it, however it's not easy when you've been let down during 4 months of your work and then people say that you need to be more grateful for the help that didn't really come
it kind of feels more frustrating and i think it may be best that i just stop, cuz at the end of the day, i can't change my past, and i'm unable to change my future because of a big issue during the last few months
it is very demoralising for sure, and i still feel like giving up on this may be the best choice but i'm also debating myself, would giving up on this mean giving up a better future for myself? because if so, i wouldn't give up since we all wanna have a pleasent future that may be ahead of us
@LuckyBlast1 I get that it's frustrating. More so because of how young you are. Honestly your only real options in this situation are to exercise patience or find a different solution. Or both. Just like you can't change your past, you can't control other people's actions or abilities. The only thing you control is yourself. Yes it sucks, but it's the way things are.
@Lythande
I think i'll do both, because it's the only thing i really have at this point. maybe things become better but i'm not sure (idk why i tend to be pesimistic about everything, probably because everytime i ask for support people just throw terrible words at me and then i have to sort it out eighter by myself or with a very few listeners here
@enlguy
hey! it's clear you've been a listener and that you've put in time and care for others, and i respect that so much. but i also think it’s really important to say something here, because the way your message came across felt really harsh and dismissive to people who might already be in a fragile place. 😕
i really don’t think @LuckyBlast1 meant to disrespect listeners at all. it seemed more like he was just communicating some pain and frustration from not being heard, which is honestly something so many of us on this platform feel sometimes. it’s not about demanding perfection or blaming listeners for not healing us, but more about wanting to feel seen and not ignored, especially when someone’s already struggling so hard to reach out.
you said it’s not a job, and you're right.. it’s not. but it is a responsibility, especially when someone chooses to accept a chat and says they’re there to help. no one’s expecting miracles, just a little consistency and compassion. and it’s really not fair to say things like "maybe YOU'RE not doing enough" to someone who’s hurting. that kind of comment can hit way too deep when someone’s already feeling bad. this comment even really hurt me too read, and this just was not necessary in my opinion, especially given your lack of familiarity with Lucky and his situation.
also not everyone is comfortable going to a professional therapist or professional-AI language for lots of different reasons. some people have trauma from past experiences or just can’t afford it. platforms like this are supposed to be about comfort and accomodation. and that includes understanding people, even when it involves critism of listeners.
i do see your point about burnout and how hard it can be as a listener too. like yeah, we are human and have your own lives and struggles. nobody is forcing anyone to be a listener, and it is very dangerous and draining to listen to people WHILE ACTIVELY STRUGGLING!!!, so i strongly reccomend you put yourself first, and make sure you are okay before attempting to help others, even though it is an awesome thing too do. but communication and empathy go both ways. if someone feels abandoned or neglected in a chat, that doesn’t make them ungrateful. it just means something hurt them and they’re trying to express it. we can all try to do better without tearing each other down.
i’m really sorry to hear you’ve been through your own struggles too, and i hope you’re getting the support you need. you deserve that, just like everyone else here does. but i hope next time a post rubs you the wrong way, maybe phrase your response a drop differently, or talk to a listener chatroom before replying. we’re all just doing our best
please be gentle with people. that includes yourself!!! Please reach out too me if you'd like too talk further. I really believe you owe Lucky an apology
@LuckyBlast I really hear you. That kind of rejection, people skipping out or disappearing when you need someone most, it wears on you. It makes it harder to trust, harder to keep trying. And still, you’re here. That says a lot about your strength, even if it doesn’t feel like it.
You're not asking for too much. Wanting someone real, someone who doesn’t treat you like a project or a quick check-in, that’s human. I practice Buddhism, so I try to be present with people, not just say things to make them feel better, but actually be there. I can’t promise to have all the answers, but I won’t flake on you. You deserve someone who stays.
Feel free to reach out to me(:
@Hind111miz
this user can not reach out to you since you listen to 18+. This member is only 15. The only. Listeners that can listener to this member is teen listeners. Or adult teen listener
@Reachforthestars00
In pms
@LuckyBlast1
I can understand why you’d feel that way after going through so many rejections and having listeners leave during tough times. It’s completely normal to crave human connection and empathy, especially when sharing personal struggles.
long time no see @LuckyBlast1, (i'm not sure if you would see this but) im finally back :3. I apologies for my break being way longer than intended. A lot has happened and changed for me so i was't able to comeback to give my full support to the members, so decided when things have settled I'll come back and reconnect with my members.
hope you are doing well, and I'm here for you <3 and hope we can still be able to have our chats (but at the moment will be still on the forums).
I look forward to hear from you :)
CozyCat :3
@CozyCat8507
yea, i'd rlly wish to see thatt. but a lot has happened since that post too. i'm looking forward to 1 on 1 chats, but forums is fine ***