How to differ between love bombing from a narcissist and genuine concern?
Lets say you have people in you life that seem to care about you so they bring you what you need. How can you know if a person is doing this out of selfish or selfless motives?
@fearlessLake3608 I'm not sure, I guess we just need to trust that some people are actually really kind loving souls. I don't really know what to say. I've never actually dated or been in a similar situation. So I'm just gonna give you a giant tiny hug ❤squeezes you tightly ❤❤ good luck ❤
@fearlessLake3608
It varies so much between each person and situation but:
The truth may not show itself until after the reason you needed help...
For example lets say you were ill and they took care of you ..... after you are well...... if it was done for selfish reasons they have already started the self promotion.......... telling everyone how much they helped you out... and then they has also might keep score and figure you OWE them x amount of time or focus on them
We can’t always know people’s true intentions, but there are certainly differences between “narcissist love bombing” and “generous friend.”
Firstly, “love bombing” is a tactic utilized by cults and individual abusers to make a target feel indebted to and dependent on the abuser. This is characterized by lavish gifts, lots of praise, and constant contact. The goal is to make the target feel overwhelmed with positive feelings and, most importantly, not give them any breathing space (time spent away from the abuser) to think logically about the situation (i.e., give them an opportunity to think “this is strange/a red flag/I should distance myself/etc.).
If you have time away from a person or group to be alone with your thoughts and process the situation, definitely take the time to do so. Even if you aren’t being lovebombed, that doesn’t mean you have to feel good about what’s going on. I don’t know what led you to ask this question and I’m not making any assumptions one way or the other. Rather, I’m just acknowledging that a person’s behavior doesn’t need to be abuse for you to not like it. Even if it’s just a little dysfunctional, even if it’s completely healthy, it’s perfectly valid to say “I don’t enjoy this kind of attention.” And if you do like the attention and care you’re receiving, that’s valid too.
If you’re suspicious about a person‘s motives, stay mindful of the situation. Some good questions to ask yourself are:
Am I allowed to leave this situation?
Are these gifts coming with strings attached?
If I tell this person to back down, will they get angry, make me feel guilty, or disregard my feelings?