If you could...
If you could talk to someone dead right now, who would it be and what would you say/ask?
I'll start - I'd talk to my old friend and apologize for ignoring his texts🕊️
I will talk to my grandpa. I will tell him that I feel insecure about everything, that i got in trouble because I'm very naive (i trusted money to myfather), that I feel lonely but contrary to what everyone thinks it's has nothing to do with being single cause I finally understood that I feel like an orphan, my mom has a mental/psychiatric illness and my father just cares about his company and his sister and brother, that's his real family, never mom and I. Even if I understood that, I have no idea what to do. I have never been happy and I have the intrusives thoughts where I wish I could ask to not have been born, turn back time and not come into this world. I was only calm when my grandpa was around, he is only adult that really took care of me, but he passed away when I was 16.
I will also tell him, I travelled a lot, I studied at top universities in different parts of the world, I speak 3 languages, cause I'm a nerd just like him, but I still feel insecure about everything.
@KoalaC
I’m so sorry you’re carrying all of this. It sounds like your grandpa was such a special person in your life, someone who truly saw you and made you feel safe. I wish he were still here to remind you of how incredible you are but I hope you know that his love for you didn’t disappear when he passed. You’ve accomplished so much and I truly believe he would be so so proud of you. I know it doesn’t erase the pain but you are not alone. You deserve to feel secure, loved, and at peace, and I truly hope you find that🌺💜
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@Yulianaxxp i would talk to my Uncle and tell him I am sorry for all of his pain, I am sorry that he couldn't go on, I am sorry that he was in so much pain and he couldn't see a way out. I would tell him I hated him for what he did but at the same time understood and loved him. It's so complicated, the multitude of differing emotions that consume you. I would tell him we missed him, we loved him, we never forget him. I would tell him, the ache he has left, the questions and the guilt. I would tell him, life has an answer even when you can't see it, I would tell him, you should have reached out, clung on, allowed yourself to just be here. I would hug him, and probably shake him, cry, laugh and tell him, that, no, I am still not a Liverpool supporter 🥰