I have no relationship experience
In all my years, I’ve spent it by finding a love that I usually find in books or films. I had one experience of an “almost” boyfriend, but that turn out to be an ugly experience. I’m 19F now, and I have never had my first kiss or even my first date. Honestly I feel like I’m missing out so much in my teenage year. Next year I won’t be considered a teen anymore. I start to think that there is something wrong with me, am I too tall? Too fat? Too independent? Too boring? And I’ve tried to change myself because of it. Now I feel like I’m too old to have any first. They call me desperate and I do feel desperate for a partner. Someone to be there for me always, to always check up on me. Someone to be my rock. But they also say that I’m still young, I have lots of time to fall in love. Yet I’m doubting that. Statistics say that as you get older, the harder it is to find a partner. It also says the higher the degree of a woman, the less chance for them to find a partner (I’m reaching for phd). I believe that to be true and I’m afraid I will be alone in this life.
@redcars289
Hey! It definitely sucks to feel that way, but honestly it takes time. Just try to put yourself out there, try to make good connections and not to rush into something. There’s a saying, don’t go shopping if your hungry because you’ll get anything and everything even if you don’t need it. The same goes if your lonely or desperate, you’ll end up getting something you don’t need. Just hang in there
@redcars28
I am sorry you feel this way and can understand the anxiety and fear. i was not the TV / Movie experiences either.
TV and movies and novels present unrealistic situations and the idea that this happens at age x or that happens at age Y. It is not a chart to hold yourself against.
I worked in a industry with many women with high degrees and successful marriages. Again in social sciences the "studies" are funded even if the research is BS.
When a person male or female are socializing with a desperation for not meeting some imagined scorecard or checklist, it is true that sense of urgency comes across and is often a big deterrent. you really do have time.
Most people in my world found a person when they were not looking for someone
Hi there, i can relate so much to you. Never had a boyfriend or kiss. As the days go by I often think about will I ever have a relationship. I get a bit jealous when I see my friends in relationship because I feel like they're life progresses and mine is just not going any where. I was once able to be in a relationship but I was scared. My advice is to you is just be patient and focus on other stuff cause love will find you when you least expect it.
@redcars289
There is no expiration date for "firsts." They happen when they happen. I didn't meet the true love of my life until I was 24 years old.
Stop worrying about changing you to meet someone else's idealistic vision. The instant you begin sacrificing who you truly are then you either present a false image to the other person (which will eventually reveals itself - it always does) or you lose yourself and your chance at real happiness with it.
Don't obsess over having accomplished certain things by a certain age. You're placing unrealistic expectations on yourself and the world and then getting disappointed and insecure when those expectations aren't met. I cycled through a LOT of relationships before I found the right person and some of those relationships ended in complete disaster and ended up doing some serious damage to both me and the others.
It is of the utmost importance to stay true to you and start loving the person that you are instead of trying to fit into someone else's mold. Having "no relationship experience" is considerably better than having BAD relationship experience (or several) as it can really affect how you approach your future relationships. You can become skeptical, distrustful, avoidant, or just plain too burned to ever want to try again. It is far better to be the real you, a person that you love and that is worthy of another's love, than to become embittered toward love and romance. Trust me, I know.
Be genuine, unique, and confident in who you are and you will greatly enhance your chances of finding the same thing in someone else. Then that "first kiss" will be a lot more special as will all of the other firsts you're waiting to experience. Honestly, some REAL is worth the wait.
