I just want to feel good.

I am having panic attacks.  I am worried about going to the grocery store.  See?  Little things upset me sometimes.  But this weekend I wasn't feeling good.  So I have been spacing out the psych meds I take.  Sometimes they make me sleepy/woozy.  Most of the time I can space them out and take them when I don't have anywhere to go.  But today I am trying to be easy on my body so I am taking the pills one at a time.  That means that I am a little dizzy/tired after taking a pill.  I was going to go to the grocery store, then I wasn't.  Then I was.  Then I wasn't.  I was panicking by that point.  I finally talked myself down and told myself that I should just lay down and relax.  That I am making a wise decision because I really shouldn't drive when I am feeling woozy.  I told myself that I have food.  I can eat the food I have tonight and tomorrow.  I'm not going to starve.  Relaxing is the right thing to do.  I just want to feel good.  I just want to put on earrings and fix my hair and groom my eyebrows and feel pretty and happy when I go to the grocery store.  I want to talk to people and feel up.  Instead I drag myself through days.  I'm trying to relax.