I'm feeling lonely my parents didn't want to pay for my medicines today

I got scared that I'm not taking care of myself enough, and felt bad that if my sister, her husband and my nephews didn't verbally abuse me and lock me in my room then maybe I wouldn't have gotten skin problem so maybe I wouldn't be in a state that I would have to beg for money. So I yelled a bit because I felt like so much of this could've been prevented but somehow I couldn't.

Now I feel afraid my sister would start her next steam off procedure. It feels like her whole family is trying to seek revenge on me, just for existing and living around their perimeter. Their violent eyes emitting raging fire, ready to devour you. I wonder if it's really going to happen, that if she feels like she can't take the steam out on me, and I have 'wronged' them by expressing my boundaries or just doing something that is good for me and is none of her business, if she's going to leave us finally, leaving us to tend to ourselves. I wonder if that's going to put me into deeper waters.

I wish I weren't targeted and sought revenge on just for existing.