I'm not okay.
I hope it's okay to post this.
I'm not okay and I haven't been okay for a while.
I'm so tired inside, but my mind won't let me rest. I lost a friendship a couple months ago and it shattered me. I've done a lot of reflecting on the friendship and have realized that it was never about connection, it was about control. My ex-friend just wanted to fix me, manage me, mold me to fit her expectations. But knowing this doesn't make her judgmental words go away; they echo often. I even can figure possible explanations as to why she said what she said to me when I was vulnerable with her. Still, her words feel etched in my head and heart. I've just been left feeling like I'm a burden and a bother and that I don't deserve support or friends because I'm not fixed. I feel like I need to protect others from me because of my mental health struggles, because I'm too much. I've even been putting off posting this because I've been struggling to see the point in doing so and I'm afraid of being a burden and bothering everyone. I just feel like I need to fix myself by myself and never ask for help because I feel like I'm undeserving of help and support.
I just could use a little light because it's dark inside.
Felingia, so sorry a friend behaved that way toward you, making you feel small and unworthy. That is SO not true! You are worthy! You need positive, loving, empathetic friends who have no ulterior motives. Here, you will find such people. It hurts me heart to read all you wrote but l am so glad you wrote it! People here will listen! You are very much worth listening to!!!! Almost everyone can relate to having a similar "friend", who believes they are somehow "above" you and can "fix" you when really they are making themselves feel better as they manipulate you! Glad they are gone and glad you can see maybe why they said the things they said. Nobody needs such a friend! You are worthy of respect and love and l send you "hugs" and prayers you feel better and better as time goes on! 🙋♂️ 💖
@Felingina
🌙💜 Hey sweet soul 💜🌙
Reading your words… I can feel the weight you’re carrying — that ache of exhaustion, the heartbreak of losing someone who once felt safe, and the loneliness that comes after being made to feel like you were too much. I just want to say this first: you are not a burden. You are not too much. You are a human being trying to heal in a world that often misunderstands softness and depth. 🌷
It sounds like that friendship left deep marks — being “fixed” instead of being felt with can make us question our worth. But the truth is, you never needed to be managed or molded. You needed to be met where you were, with empathy and care. That kind of connection does exist, and you deserve it. 🍃
The way you’re reflecting, the way you still want to find light even when everything feels heavy — that says so much about your strength. 🕯️ Healing isn’t about being fixed; it’s about being gentle with the broken parts until they feel safe again. You don’t have to do it all alone, even if your mind tells you otherwise. 💫
Right now, please know you’ve been heard, seen, and understood. You’re allowed to rest. You’re allowed to ask for help. You’re allowed to exist exactly as you are — messy, healing, and beautifully human. 🌼
You are not the darkness, love — you’re the light trying to make its way through it. 🌙✨
With warmth and care,
💛 bubbles 💛
Bubbles, you are very artistic! Makes me smile at your way of encouraging folks! ð¥°
@Felingina i relate
@Felingina I’m so sorry to hear you’re going through all of this. I totally understand what you’re feeling. I’ve personally struggled a lot with self-doubt, feeling undeserving of others’ attention, controlling/fake friendships, mental health, etc.
I want to remind you that you’re definitely NOT alone and your feelings absolutely matter. You are not undeserving of help or a burden for asking for support. In fact, you are so brave, strong, and loved for reaching out on here. You’re so much more loved and precious than you could even imagine (by me, those around you, and everyone else on 7cups).
Please never hesitate to ask for help. We are always here rooting for you. Try to rest up, do things you enjoy/treat yourself, and trust that everything WILL get better! Joy has a habit of returning, even if it’s hard to feel it right now. Sending you so much love, hugs, and prayers 💖
I'm very proud that you shared this! It's perfectly fine not be okay and feel all those feelings. It's definitely okay to share this since many people go through a phase where they're not okay. Just remember that you're not alone in this and there's many people that can relate and support you in this!
Remember, you don't have to fix yourself by yourself if you don't want to. If you do want to, then it's fine but just know that's there's so many people on this platform who would love to help you! Another thing to remember is that it's okay to not change immediately, even if it's taking a long time. Sometimes sitting with your feelings is good too.
I hope whatever I said seems helpful and I'm sorry if it comes out as unhelpful!
***Sends virtual hugs if that's fine****