I need help!!!
Hi guys
I’ve been in a relationship for 6 months & these have honestly been the best 6 months of my life. I have gotten everything I wanted in a partner but the only problem is that my partner has not been getting everything she wants. She says that my problems that I face is a little overwhelming. I’m not a good listener or responder. I don’t listen very well but if I do get it & listen my responses are terrible & it’s always feeling like she has to constantly battle with me about her feelings. Sometimes I feel as if I’ve drained all the life out of her & now our relationship seems as if it’s coming to an end because she can’t be my girlfriend, therapist, best friend all in one. So now im just seeking help I’m financially struggling so I can’t afford a therapist but I’m just hoping someone has insight on what I should or how I could go about receiving help.
Thank you for your time. I appreciate you.
@niesa722
“She can’t be my girlfriend, therapist, best friend all in one.”
I think that is a very true statement.
Without knowing more details, try to keep your problems out of the relationship, don’t put them onto her. Instead, get feedback from the community here at 7cups. Try this and see if that changes anything.
Let us know how it goes 🙂
This here I agree give it a try
You have to practice on how to show empathy when talking with her. Ask questions, repeat what she’s saying back in your own words to her to make sure you’re understanding the situation. Then respond how you’d handle it and then ask her for her thoughts or suggestions to see if she would take a different approach about it. Watch videos on YouTube on how to better communicate with your partner. One step at a time. Instead of venting so much to her Try journaling or use ChatGPT for help on issues you need help how to solve. I use ChatGPT often, I ask it questions and provide life scenarios and it helps me figure it out and provides a plan. You can even ask it to help you communicate better with your partner and it will provide daily lessons for you to prepare and practice and put it into play. I can’t afford therapy anymore so, ChatGPT recommended this app and a few more to me. If you need a financial plan, ask ChatGPT like I did and it helped me. Utilize resources at your fingertips. I hope this helps.
Hey there i honestly feel like your girlfriend with my boyfriend it’s hard to deal with all of that I honestly think small things matter bringing her flowers asking her about her issues and if she dosent budge keep asking unless she sternly tells u she wants to be alone and not talk but uhm like for me i wish sometimes he talked more about us you know and also like compliment her about random stuff like I love ur outfit or you always look so beautiful I was in her position once feeling drained getting told all his problems but u telling her I’m here for you just as much as you’ve been here for me I’m sorry I’m not always 100% understanding but I want to work on it I value you and everything you do u have truly brought me back to life and I want to do the same to you be honest you love her right when a man loves you will try ur best to make her happy so give it ur all just how she’s been giving you her all learn more about her her past don’t just say I love you treat me I ITS ALWAYS I I ME ME it’s not about you all the time she is also human love her for who she is how she sometimes gets mad how she wakes up how she just exists in ur life not always about her giving something you know it’s the little things and maybe her out of life look is because you’ve done things to make her feel resentment towards you such as not being understanding when u catch her mood change genuinely ask her I want to understand you please help me and tell me what’s the matter okaurrrr good luck 😊😊
@niesa722
Hi there. For me relationships shouldn't be like that. It's a communication between the two of you and both has to do their fair share to make the relationship work. All these complains about you makes it seem to me that she should always be your top priority only. But what about you. You have to think of yourself too.
Nobody is perfect. She took you in her life and now she wants you to be like this and that. But you can't be like that person because you aren't. Each of us has different attitude and how we react to things. She should not make you to be the person she wants you to be. Because you are unique and love in a relationship should accept the flaws and imperfections of each other.
You can message me if you want some tips. Not sure if this site has direct messaging.. but your story is very vague, like to know what help you need, we need to know what the actual issues are. You have problems that are overwhelming for her.. can't help you there unless we know what the problems are. And your communication needs improvement it seems.. but why exactly are your responses terrible? Do you argue in anger? Do you ever say insulting or negative things? Do you ever blame her for anything? Only once we know the actual issue we can give advice. For example if it's convos that end uo being arguments and heated anger- there's a book called "nonviolent communication" by marshal b Rossenburg. I personally found this book through chatgpt when expressing my issues to it. So one advice I can give you is explain in the highest detail, everything that's going on - to chatgpt... and ask its advice and also ask what you can do to resolve your issues.. and if there's any books or resources you could look into. You may have to study, transform yiurself and problems solve this to make things work.
you can message me if you like to i like to help you as much as possible
@niesa722 Not your fault man. You can never satisfy a girl.
Give time for things to settle. Ponder over how you can make her happy. Go with the flow, everything will go to its place in a while
I feel for you man. It’s hard I have a autistic spouse and I have autism adhd and intellectual disability and it takes someone with disabilities to fully understand one with disabilities and takes true love to stay together and work as a team and help each other I don’t expect my hue up works to be my therapist I have one of those but still talk to him I am not the best at listening but am better. Reaching out here is a good thing and proud of you. Couples therapy maybe if she open to that?
I think you're in the right place to learn active listening skills 🙂 good luck!