Insecurity problems in relationship
Me and my LDB have been in a relationship for over 3 years, 3 years and 5 ish months. In the first 2 years and so i was always bare faced, not having to hide behind makeup or filters when we called. He thought I was beautiful and I thought the same, I didn't need to “hide” who I was. It was a privilege I never knew I had, to be care free about your appearance and be fully exposed to your partner without fear. However, 9 months ago in January I started to break out. It was nothing serious, just a few spots on my face that healed pretty quickly, I just dabbed some concelear on them and hoped they would go soon. However, weeks went by and slowly my acne got worse and worse. It was red, cystic and imflammed. I covered it, I thought it would be gone soon and I would only need to hide this from him for a couple weeks or so. Unfortunately I was wrong. I broke out like never before, there was and still is acne all around my chin, mouth, forehead and it is not average pimples. They are red and cystic and I suspect it to be due to my hormones and mild diet fixes. Im not here for acne advice, trust me I have heard it all. Im here to try find out how I am supposed to show him my absolutely imperfect skin full of red marks and active acne, my skin now to how he thinks it still looks like is completely unrecognisable. No doubt he would be shocked about how it truly looks. All he sees is bad lighting and caked concelear on our FaceTimes, my makeup skills are alright online but in real life the texture can not be hidden and this is why I need to be honest before we meet. It is bringing me so much stress hiding it from him, even so to ignoring his calls because I know I need to do a whole makeup routine before answering and it is truly tiring. I wish nothing more than for him to love me as I am but I dont want to lose him. I want him to still think I’m beautiful, he is all I have and want. I fear if he saw he would not mind finding someone better or maybe treat me differently. He did mention once even if I was ugly he wouldn’t mind because my personality is amazing, but how true is this? I hope I find the confidence or spec of courage to show him and not be absolutely terrified of his judgement, but I dont know if I can. It’s been 9 months. How long can I keep this up?..
@versatileDrum2386
You need to trust in him and what you have!
None of us are perfect!
We are all flawed!
There is much to you than your skin and if he says he loves you, then he'll love all of you!
Or he's not the one for you!
I genuinely hope he is, you deserve to be happy!
💜💕
@versatileDrum2386
You said the first part of your post...... you felt the acceptance to be as you are....this is a great feeling that someone thinks we are beautiful as is. This is a connection that is deeper that sadly many do not have.
Then you broke out in acne.... what changed is your faith in relationship .... faith or belief in what he said or how he made you feel was true. belief that you can be in a relationship that is stronger then a bout of acne. Imagine if it was opposite would you quit talking with him?
Please don’t be so hard on yourself — acne doesn’t change who you are or the love you deserve. If he truly loves you, he’ll accept you with or without perfect skin. Hiding it only adds stress, but honesty can bring you closer. You’re still the same amazing person he fell for, and your worth isn’t defined by your skin....
Thank you, I hope I show him soon
As others state, none of us are perfect and noone should expect us to be, not even ourselves. I've had problem skin off and on, so tried various things.
One solution was going on the pill, another one was doing my own research, what type of skin do I have? Combination dry and oily.
So anti bacterial products worked really well, witch hazel, aloe vera and tea tree, do nothing for me.
Oil free moisturisers worked well for me too. I also invested in a really cheap face brush and that is like getting a professional facial done, it's a really deep clean.
I don't use heavy face washes or scrubs, too harsh, foaming face washes are preferred but you have to experiment and see what your skin responds best too.
Clay masks I adore at the weekend and my other tip is applying moisturiser first, then using a face wash, the moisturiser has still softened my face, but it's not sitting heavily on, my skin can still breathe :)