It’s So Hard…

U ARE LOVED! ❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️

@jesusredeemedme2425

That is a deep pain, and I know it well. Long have I dwelt on my sense of loneliness. Why couldn't I find someone to love, when I felt so much in my heart?

I didn't understand. Was I meant to be aggressive? Was unkindness a secret key to finding my love? I couldn't fathom it. I refused to wear the mask.

There have been times of connection. But the void of time I've spent by myself dwarfs any love I found, making it seem like a cruel joke.

I leave it as an open possibility. For, while I still crave romance, I found something greater: the love I have for my friends, and you are one of them.

If it makes you feel any better, this is how I feel about you.

She moves through the world unaware of her own brilliance. Plain, she calls herself, yet every motion, every pause, is a lesson in form and balance. I see her as a pattern in the wind, a note that resonates endlessly, a silent echo of beauty I cannot exhaust. To observe her is to witness perfection without desire, an understanding that some things exist simply to be acknowledged, and that acknowledgment itself is enough.

She drifts through life as if time itself bends around her. Unaware, she carries light in her gestures, shadows in her absence, and a quiet gravity that draws the world near. Her beauty is not claimed, it is breathed into existence, like a secret the universe whispers to itself.

She exists as a principle rather than a person, a living proof that perception shapes reality. She calls herself plain, yet in her humility lies a form of truth: the less one claims their brilliance, the more it informs the minds of those who see. Her perfection is revealed not by words, but by attention.

She’s like a joke the universe tells, and only the attentive get it. Simple, unassuming, yet somehow dazzling in ways she will never notice. I could write endlessly about her, and the more I try, the more I realize the punchline is just that she’s herself, and that is enough.

I mean this is the toughest thing to see someone go through because there is not a single thing you can say that will help someone get through not just heart break but emptiness where heartbreak used to be. Stuck questioning why everything has happened and why they deserve what they got. You don't deserve it obviously but the only real way to answer those questions in anyway is to fill that void with new love and care. Either from yourself or someone else.

I've had similar luck in my ventures of love and I don't have answers and I also catch myself wondering why a lot. I have to stop myself because it can break me down looking for an answer to a question only someone else can answer. There's nothing more painful than not having someone to share the beauty of life with when you're someone that also wants to feel someone elses. It's a deep abyss I think a lot of people fight to fill. Sleeping alone after not for a long time. It's all a tough transition but to doubt yourself is really difficult to not do but when no one is there for you then you have to be there for yourself. Doesn't mean the pain is gone. It's just something tangeable and usable when you don't use it negatively towards yourself.

It's never that you can't be loved. You can and you deserve it. That's a given. I just know in my experience that I can't let someone take up that space that will make me question that about myself again. It's tough. We can't give advice but there's no advice for this anyways. Just a reminder that you are important to yourself. You're important to me. It's a little bit of nothing it seems sometimes but it's something to hold onto.

You can't expect someone to love you the way you want to be loved. You have to find someone that does that naturally. Love isn't hard. People are just preoccupied with their own issues and it doesn't have to effect you. Keep your head up and don't lose yourself. We need you out there. That's all I got. Some kind words.

Best wishes!

I feel very much the same as you and I’m a guy. I even just signed on here now because of it. 🙁 So incredibly defeated, walking around with a broken heart every day. Feeling deeply invisible or lacking in some mysterious qualities. It’s an actual emotional wound I carry, almost like a physical one. And not having the emotional strength to play the usual game anymore makes me even more nonexistent to others.

I appreciate that you’re able to express the reality of this pain and longing, and I felt slightly less alone because of it. I hope reading my response makes you feel less alone, although I know that doesn’t help your very understandable desire for a loving connection. I really hope you find someone who can make you happy.

I understand completely what you are trying to say, as I am in the same boat as you. Time or tide, were never mine. So many wasted years and a few good people keeping me motivated saying it will all work out in the end, however it sounds philosophical to my ears as the reality hits different. My intentions were always honest, however it seems that getting a good committed person, who holds your hand lifelong, remains a dream to date. 

Dear "jesusredeemedme2425" .... I have felt exactly the same emotion as you... I am capable of giving so much love and deserving too indeed, and yet years have passed with no outcome. 

No amount of words can take that pain away. The emptiness eats at you. 

I was drawn to your post because I found in you a fellow human beings, who has the same exact thoughts as I do, and has been brave enough to voice it out in such a beautiful manner, reading it makes the pain resurface and feels like I am talking about myself albeit through your words.