It’s So Hard…
You know what’s so hard?
Yearning for connection. Having so much love within me longing to come out, to be expressed… Absolutely CRAVING love…
And no one loving me.
I’ve tried. Multiple times. Over. And over. And over again… Thinking I might have somebody. My heart being ripped in half. “I like you… Just kidding!” The unspoken words rip your soul apart.
Unexpressed love… feels a little like when you’re underwater and can’t breathe. You’re longing to let go and absorb all the benefits of what feels so close… And yet, you’re bereft.
You have friends. Men in your life who adore you. But not that way.
And you feel the chilled hands of loneliness surrounding you. You feel the cold of not having someone’s arms around you. Every day. When you should just be living your life. Wishing you had that person you could just reach over and give a caress to, nuzzle your face into their hair, hold their hand when you crave connection, or even just brush your hand against their arm without judgement…
The lack of love can be so brutal… So quiet… So deep. A silent cry… Tears on the inside. Wondering if you did something wrong.
Why can’t I be loved????
@Tinywhisper11
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@jesusredeemedme2425
You articulate the pain of feeling unloved with such eloquence that it is heart-breaking to read. Having people in your life, even close friends, cannot always compensate for the need to feel a more intimate connection. The way you describe the small details of physical affection and how their absence hurts is so emotive. Having such powerful emotions but yet no outlet and no comfort is extremely tough...your title for the post hardly seems to do it justice....it is very hard indeed. It seems brutally unfair that anyone should feel that way, let alone a person who is so abundant with compassion towards others, be they friends or strangers.
Your impassioned plea of "Why Can't I be loved????" is something that we all would want to comfort you about...try to tell you that of course you can be loved, and ARE loved...but that feels like we are missing the point. We can try and offer words of how you are a strong person, and that you do not need someone to complete you as you are awesome as you are,....but again, when one feels like something is missing, no amount of affirmations take away the ache. The heart wants what the hearts wants, and it is a demanding thing that cannot be swayed with rationality or argument, nor brooks any substitute. The same thing that can bring us such joy and fill us with boundless love is also capable of making us feel our lowest when it does not receive what it desires.
You are loveable. I am confident you have not done, (nor are doing), anything wrong. It may sound cliched but your potential paramour could very well be the next person you meet, or something might ignite between someone you already know or used to know and reconnect with. I understand that hearing that doesn't help...but please don't give up. Keeping and open mind and open heart is hard, especially when it seems futile. But love sometimes arrives unannounced and can be a wonderful surprise when it does.
@jesusredeemedme2425 I see you ❤️ it must be really hard. But you are amazing, and I'm sure someone will appreciate it one day, and bring you the stars ❤️
You mentioned having a lot of male friends who like you. Do you have a male best friend who happens to be single? If you do, you should totally invite him for a coffee. My hill to die on dating advice is to be friends first, and if you have a male best friend, you should totally date 😇 you don't have to invite them out for a date. Just invite them to hang out like normal friends do, and make sure to spend a little more time together than you usually do. It is completely possible it will naturally level up into something more 😊
I’ve tried that.
@jesusredeemedme2425 so none of your friends are interested?
I think they are… and then they’re not. Guys are INCREDIBLY confusing…
@jesusredeemedme2425 maybe they are afraid you will reject them? I spend a lot of time discussing life with my boyfriend since I'm interested in psychology and he provides me with an incredible amount of insight on how men see the world. And he told me about how most men would absolutely date a friend if she showed interest and they are single. They are just often worried they get rejected.
He also explained to me something he calls being a shadow bf. It's a phenomenon when a guy will be a very supporting presence in your life, listening to you, spending time with you etc. What is basically him showing you his business card of look I could be a good partner. So maybe it's worth to think through if you have a guy friend you have a great time with who is single and giving it a little more consistent time together just to hang out as friends and things will develop naturally into more if it's meant to be 😊
Yeah, but then when I respond to their interest, they back off. It’s like a response scares them off for some reason… Like… Why pursue me if you don’t want me to like you back?
A shadow bf, huh? Didn’t know guys did that…
I have. Asked my best friend to date me. Guess what the answer was lol
@jesusredeemedme2425 I mean. If he said no, tell him to *** off and make space for someone who will 😁 But jokes aside, do not waste time on people who do not appreciate you. Do you have any idea why he said no?
I’m too old for him.
@jesusredeemedme2425 well then, if you are too old for him, you are too old to play games too. Go get someone who will appreciate you, really. Don´t waste your time and energy somewhere where no results come 🌻
by too old to play games i mean specifically play his mind games of hot and cold, you have better people to spend your time on, and he can go cry about it 😁
Yeah… It’s just hard when he’s the closest I have to a relationship.
@jesusredeemedme2425 i totally see why. But you deserve better. You deserve to be someone´s first choice instead of being stringed along for a situationship 💖
True.
What’s a situationship again?
@jesusredeemedme2425 according to Google, it's a romantic connection that lacks clear labels, commitment, and mutual expectations, existing somewhere between a friendship and a formal relationship. It involves elements of both friendship and romance, but without a defined, exclusive, or long-term direction, often leaving participants without the emotional security of a committed relationship.
I think that’s all I can get now.
@jesusredeemedme2425 nahh, come on. You deserve proper love 😊
Can’t. Love doesn’t exist.
@jesusredeemedme2425 it does. Come on. You are amazing and I'm sure there is someone out there for you. But you seem to be getting the doomies, so let's distract you.
What's one thing you can do for yourself today? I'm currently really enjoying hot water foot soaks 😁
You're in really good company with loneliness like that... You deserve to find a good heart that knows what the loneliness is like too. You can love that much stronger for it. More than anything though, I want you to know that the problem isn't you.... It can just be really hard to find that sort of thing.
@jesusredeemedme2425
My heart really does ache for you!
All I know with certainty, is you are one of the kindest, warmest , most welcoming people I have ever met, quirky, funny, down to earth and genuine and you deserve love in abundance 💜
Love will find you when you're least expecting it and then you'll smile looking back at your posts. I wish that for you ❤️
@jesusredeemedme2425
Awww <3
Wow, are we the same person? I feel exactly like that. I never make it past the talking stage because something always goes wrong in the end. I just want someone to love me the way I love myself, because handling everything on my own all the time feels so isolating. I totally get what you mean.
EXACTLY! Everything gets messed up when we get close to the romance stage. Like… why??? Lol
This almost made me cry. You have a way with words and the pain you’re feeling had you cobble together words that made me feel weight of the loneliness that’s threatening to put out the flame that is you.
Your cry may be silent but the love you have to offer is something not just anyone deserves because it could bring someone back to life, it could reignite a dead flame and that is rare.
Your words are beautiful, your heart is overflowing with love and yet you have no one to share it with.
Please keep writing. I look forward to your next post.
@jesusredeemedme2425 that was heartbreaking to read🙁 though I don't share the same need to be loved in that way, I do understand your pain😥 cause I yearn for the love of a real family, parents, siblings, grandparents 💖 gives you a giant tiny hug 💗 your heart is special, you are beautiful inside and out, and definitely loveable💖 I guess when it comes to these things we just gotta trust that God has a plan for us💖
@jesusredeemedme2425
This sounds so painful. Craving the warmth, comfort and love that comes from a healthy relationship. Someone to ask how your day was, reliable, someone to share intimacy.
It’s hard being on the journey of finding someone that fits everything you’re looking for. You don’t want to just let anyone in either but, that longing is there. ❤️❤️